Page 79 of Lovely Darkness

“What?”

“Yeah. I told her the words. Made her repeat them after me. But I didn’t realize she had memorized them. She was mindfucking herself, Merc.”

“Shit.” He stands up, turns his back to me. Runs his hand through his hair. Doesn’t face me when he says, in a very soft voice, “Seventeen. That’s way too many.”

“I know,” I whisper back. “But you—”

He quickly turns back to me, shaking his head. “No.”

“And Carter,” I add before he can protest further. “Between the three of us, we can fix her, Merc. We can. We can be her cure.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN - INDIE

“I love the gardens at night. Aren’t they pretty?” Wendy and I are walking the pea-pebbled paths under the last bits of a setting sun. Maggie wanted to put up solar lanterns a few weeks ago, so we did that. They don’t give off much light, but they do make the whole place feel just a little bit more magical. Wendy and I follow them through the gardens like they’re markers on a map and they’re leadin’ us somewhere.

Wendy looks around as I watch her. She’s a pretty girl, but we’re all pretty on the outside. She’s too quiet, though. That part of her always bugged me when we were younger. She was always so serious. So focused. So… professional. She never got up to the kind of shenanigans I did. Wasn’t even interested in pushing the limits of Chek’s authority over her.

I blame Nathan.

He’s the one who made me want to be rebellious. He always wanted me to question Adam’s authority. In a good way, though, because he was my voice of reason too.

I think that’s why I was missing for those years.

No Nathan.

No restraint.

Just pure rebellion.

Wendy and I might look alike, but we’re almost nothing alike.

And that’s fine. She’s allowed to be who she is and I’m allowed to be who I am too.

But I need her to be a little more rebellious right now because I have a plan and I would like her to be my partner in crime.

I hook my arm around her elbow as we stroll. She has never pulled away from my physical contact and I have to say, if the situation were reversed, and I was the one being physically touched by her in a moment like this, I think I would pull away.

It just amazes me how different we are.

I’m pondering this when I hear myself ask a question. “Do you think they planned us this way?”

I feel Wendy pause. Then take a breath. “What do you mean?”

I stop walking, forcing her to stop with me. Then I cock my head at her and smile. “You know what I mean, Wendy. We’re… we were… made, ya know? And we’re so different. The differences between us. It’s like that bright glare on the car in front of you when you’re driving east in the early morning.”

This analogy makes her smile. It’s a road reference, which I admit wasn’t planned. But she likes it, so I’ll take credit anyway.

“Yeah, I guess we are,” she says. “Different, I mean. Your life is so…”

“Storybook?” I giggle.

“No.” She sucks in air, pausing.

I’m still smiling, but I’m starting to sense a change. “What do you mean, then? Different how?”

“You know. You’re so… settled. So… I don’t know how to explain it. So fixed. You know what I mean. You’re here and you have all this.” She pans her hands wide to encompass all of the gardens. The she turns towards the house, but I know she’s not looking at the house. “And I have… that.” She’s looking at her truck.

We spend a few moments staring at that truck. It’s an OK truck. Nicer than the one I’m driving right now. But I just don’t get it. “Why don’t you just buy a house, Wendy?”