Page 51 of Lovely Darkness

I catch Nick smiling as we walk and I find that my feelings for him today are also unexpected. Quite contrary to the ones I was having just a few days ago. After all these years, it’s a small shock to realize there might be another person out there you can trust, and you never knew it until just now.

“This place is nice,” Nick says. “Not as nice as my shitty farmhouse in Nebraska, but…”

Now it’s my turn to smile. “McKay and I will have to take a trip west one day. We don’t get out there much. Even when I was running around with Maggie, I didn’t pay much attention to anything west of the Mississippi. Never seemed like there was a point to it.”

“Oh, fuck. Wendy and I won’t be staying at my place. It truly is a piece of shit. We won’t be settling anywhere, actually. Not for a long time. We’re going on a trip around the world.”

“No shit?”

“No shit.”

“That sounds real nice, actually. I’ve been everywhere, of course, but McKay hasn’t. I have found myself feeling bad about that lately. In fact—” I pause here. Because even though I’ve already admitted it to myself, it feels wrong to let Nick in on this realization before I say it to McKay.

But Nick presses. “In fact, what?”

“Nothin’. It just sounds nice, that’s all.”

I’m sure Nick knows I’m lying, but he lets it go. “So what do you think? Is there any possible way you can keep Indie occupied with something other than Wendy?”

“McKay and I are going out tonight, remember? So I can’t help you there. But I’m willing to offer up a tip, if you’re interested.”

Nick shrugs with his hands. “Sure. Why not?”

“Don’t push Indie away. She’ll be on to you like flies on shit. If you try to stop her from doing anything—and I do mean anything—she will do the opposite just to piss you off.”

Nick grunts. “I can see it.”

“Believe it. Indie is… a lot of things, but easily controlled is not one of them.”

“Then how do you explain Nate?”

“What do you mean?”

“Nate? He controls her. Totally.”

“No.”

“No? Seriously? You don’t see it?”

“I mean, they’re friends. Lovers, whatever. But Indie’s mission in life is to defy people. Including Nathan St. James.” When I glance at Nick, his mouth is open, but no words are coming out. “What?”

“Take a step back, Adam. Then look at it again with fresh eyes. Nathan St. James is controlling her. And she lets him.”

“Same way you’re controlling Wendy?”

I expect him to balk at this accusation, but he doesn’t. “Yeah,” he says. “It’s exactly like me and Wendy.”

Just as those words come out, Nathan and Indie appear on the dirt path that leads from the lake house to Old Home. They were over there, on his side of the woods. They are holding hands and smiling. Looking around to see where everyone is.

That’s when I notice that Maggie is up. She’s on the porch with Sasha, chatting like old friends.

Nick notices too. His eyes narrow a little as he watches Sasha.

“You still love her?”

“Who?” He doesn’t look at me when he answers.

“Sasha.”