Page 3 of Lovely Darkness

“Why’s that? I mean, I like Wendy too. But why do you like her?”

Maggie shrugs. “She feels… like home.”

“Huh.” I consider this. Wendy does feel like home. I’ve worked with her a lot over the years. She’s a regular in my life. She’s way more of a friend than Indie is, that’s for sure. “What’s that mean?” I ask Mags.

“You know. She’s just…” Maggie goes silent for a moment, considering her words. “She just feels like family.”

“She is family,” I remind her. “I’m a hundred percent sure the two of you are related in some way.”

“No. That’s not what I mean. Wendy just feels…” She stops again. This hesitation makes me pay attention. Wendy is special in some way or Maggie would just say things like, She’s fun. Or, She makes me laugh. Off-the-cuff things like that. But Maggie doesn’t say those things. She says, “Wendy feels connected to me.”

“The way Indie feels connected?”

“No. The way you feel connected.”

“How is that different?” This isn’t what we’re here to discuss, but I can’t help myself from asking the question.

“Indie feels like a mom.” Maggie shrugs. “That’s just different.”

“How is that different from me? Don’t I feel like a father?”

Maggie laughs. “No.”

“What do you mean, no? I am your father. Not by blood, but I’m the one who raised you.”

“I know. But that’s not what moms and dads are, Adam.”

“Now why are you calling me Adam?”

She giggles. “You’re so sensitive about it. But you just don’t get it.”

“Explain it to me.”

“You know. Like. Moms and dads are… requirements.”

“You didn’t even have a mom until I brought you here.”

“God, don’t you ever listen?”

“I’m listening. You’re just talkin’ in circles.”

“Moms and dads are…” She stops. Starts again. “Moms and dads are…” She sighs. “You should know this. You have a mom and dad.”

“Not really.”

“But in your head, Adam. You have a mom and dad in your head.”

“OK.”

“So that’s what moms and dads are. Just… there.”

“And so I’m the dad?”

“No.” She chuckles. “That’s Nate. Don’t you get it? He’s my dad. You’re my… Adam.” She beams a smile at me. “It’s so different.”

“OK. Whatever. Go on. Wendy…”

“Wendy is like you. Different. And I like her. Not as much as you, but I like her. We’re going to be…” She shrugs.