Page 16 of Lovely Darkness

“Exactly,” Doc says. “But the Company lives for that sort of evil. They find the mind to be a fascinating place. The personalities were always completely different. Donovan isn’t a killer. He’s not actually a psychopath. Carter, on the other hand, is. He didn’t mind killing the children in the hunt. He didn’t have an existential crisis when he was told about the breeding programs.”

“How did they control who was… present?” I ask.

“They didn’t. Not with Donovan, at least. Carter was much stronger in that regard. But less controllable than Donovan.”

“So they merged them back?” I ask.

“Tried. It’s technically called fusing. And it worked. For a while.”

“OK,” Sasha says. “But then how did Donovan get in control of everyday life?”

“I don’t think he ever was in charge. I think Carter just hid.”

“But why?” I ask. “Why hide when you can just take control?”

“Because he had his own plans, Mr. Case.” Doc looks at Sasha. “I know what you did in Santa Barbara. And I know who helped you do it. Adam, right?” “Yes.”

“Well Donovan was the one who helped Adam.”

“It was Carter, then? Not Donovan?” I ask.

“I wouldn’t know. I can only assume.”

“Did Donovan know any of this?” Sasha says.

“At one time, he probably did,” Doc says. “When he was very young. But I doubt he had any idea, as an adult, exactly who and what he was. And I suspect that this forced amnesia that worked on Donovan did not work on Carter. That’s the only way it makes sense. How could this secret stay so well hidden if both the personalities were clueless? One of them had to know and I guess that’s Carter.”

“So…” Sasha pauses to think this through. “How can we ever know who is who?”

“How can we ever?” Doc asks back.

I look down at Donovan. Reevaluate him. This is gonna be a lot harder than I first thought. “I’m gonna need insight. Who knows him best?”

“Indie,” Doc says. “Indie knows him best. And I know what you’re thinking, but here’s the problem. Indie knows them both, and in her mind, they are one and the same.”

“Does Adam know this?” Sasha asks.

“Not all of it. Not the part about Indie. He and McKay, they’re way too close to this boy. They really think that Donovan can be saved, and if they can save Donovan, they can save Indie. But I’m here to tell you, he can’t be saved and neither can she.”

“Then why are we even bothering?” I ask.

Sasha grunts at me. “Merc!”

“What? It’s a real question.”

“We’re bothering because he’s a human being. They raped his mind as a child. And he’s not the only one, either. There are so many of them. The moment you give in to the idea that humans can be thrown out like trash, that’s the moment you find yourself on the side of evil. Do you want to be on the side of evil, Merc?”

I kinda scoff at her.

“Well,”—Doc says, picking up my question —“I guess that’s true, Sasha. But in this case love is a very powerful thing. And these boys just aren’t ready to let go of what they think they have.” Doc looks up at me again, his cloudy blue eyes staring intently into mine. “But they never had these two, Merc. These two were never theirs to begin with. They are the property of the Company. Your job here isn’t to save Donovan Couture, it’s to kill him, and his second, and to make sure he takes Indie out when he goes.”

“What the hell are you talking about? That is not—”

Doc raises a hand to stop Sasha, his eyes still locked on mine. “This is not an order. I’m not telling you to do anything, Merc. But you’ll see. Spend a few days here. Get to know the place and the people and you’ll see that this is how it ends.”

Then he turns, walking towards the back breezeway. Over his shoulder he says, “Get some rest. You’re gonna need it.”

When he’s gone, Sasha turns to me. “We’re not killing him.”