Page 108 of Lovely Darkness

“You really are gonna regret knowing me.”

“Well, I’m not there yet. And I really do have all night.”

“You were right,” I say.

“About what?”

“We were—we are—just a couple of blue-eyed demons.”

A long, silent minute goes by. Then Perrine says, “That’s it, then? You’re just gonna cop to it? Just like that? No excuses or explanations?”

“Yeah. Just like that. There are no excuses or explanations for the things we’ve done.”

Her smile grows big again.

“Why are you smiling?”

She points at me. “Because honesty will get you everywhere with me, Mr. Blue-Eyed Demon.”

Could she be a trap?

Yeah. She could.

But even if I confessed to her, and she was some kind of undercover agent or whatever, what could anyone do to me?

Nothing. There would be no consequences.

The entire FBI is corrupt. That agency is never gonna be anything but corrupt. I own every judge in New Orleans. There are still a few honest ones in the rural areas. And I don’t own anyone in Pearl Springs. Maybe if I were in Utah or one of those other wild places out West, I might worry a little bit about the local law enforcement. But we’re here. In a place I control. So what do I have to lose?

Just her.

And if she walks out, then she walks out.

But I’m tired of lying.

I like this woman.

I want to know her.

I might even want to keep her.

And I refuse to start something new with a lie.

So I start with that night on the island. She leans forward when I begin talking. Listening. Eyes wide, like I’m telling a ghost story.

She doesn’t interrupt me. Just lets me talk.

At some point, McKay comes out of the bedroom. We lock eyes. He’s a little bit confused, but takes a seat on the couch next to her. Puts his arm around her, like he’s protecting her from our dirty past.

She leans into him as I keep going, telling her all about Indie, and the Company, and Donovan back at Old Home.

She never gets up. She never interrupts me. She never walks out.

She just listens. Maybe she believes me and maybe she doesn’t. That’s not really up to me. It’s not even the point. And I think she gets this. The only reason someone cops out to a story like this is to ease their own burdens.

And her silence, and captive interest, gives me permission to do that.

It’s nearly dawn when I finish.