Page 148 of Creeping Beautiful

Because that voice… that voice is Donovan’s.

And it’s coming from Indie’s bedroom.

“Fuck,” Donovan says. And then he’s rushing down the hallway.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE - INDIE

PRESENT DAY

I feel like a little girl again.

They make me feel like a little girl again.

And maybe yesterday I would’ve put up more of a fight about being sent to my room, but today… I don’t know. Everything is fuzzy. And I feel like it’s been fuzzy for so long, I can’t remember not feeling this way.

But that’s not true. In the early days everything was so clear.

Nathan was my best friend. McKay was my teacher. Adam was my protector. And Donovan was my sanity.

It was so easy back then. So simple.

And now it’s all so complicated.

All the ways they each completed me are now so mixed together, I can’t think straight anymore.

I walk over to my window and look out. It’s dark, so I can’t see anything. But I still know—like I just feel—that something is missing out there.

What is it?

Why won’t they tell me?

I walk back over to my bed and sit down, stare at the bathtub, then smile because that tub just… God. It just holds all my favorite memories of McKay. How he’d make a bubble bath for me at night and wash my hair and comb it out. How good that felt. And how easy it was to be with McKay.

How simple.

Donovan is messy. And so is Adam.

Donovan is always trying to peek inside my head. He wants all my secrets. And Adam? Adam just… well, I don’t really know what Adam wants. Compliance, maybe? Submission? I’m not sure.

But McKay. McKay just wants me. He’s not looking for what’s hidden beneath all my layers and he’s not trying to use me as a weapon. I think McKay just wants to take care of me. But not by force.

Like when he used to cook my dinners. He always made something I didn’t like, but he didn’t make me eat it. He just asked me to try it.

“Just give it a try, Indie. One bite. And if you hate it, spit it out and I’ll never serve it again.”

Most of the time I did spit it out. But not always. I really thought I hated sweet potatoes. I refused to eat them for three Thanksgivings. But then one year I took a bite and they were good.

I liked mangoes too. I put up a big fight over mangoes. Which was stupid. But I liked them in the end.

That’s the best thing about McKay. He never wanted more from me than I was willing to give. He was patient. He was just… there. Every time.

And maybe he didn’t save my life the way Adam did. And maybe he didn’t save my mind the way Donovan did.

But he saved my soul.

Which is ironic, since Adam was the one who made me go to church.

McKay saved my soul.