Page 26 of Eighteen (18)

“Control of what?”

“Life,” I sneer.

“You can’t control life, Shannon.”

“I can control whether or not I get fucked in a school.”

“So you wanted me to stop?”

“That’s not what I’m saying—”

“Then what are you saying? Because I’m confused.”

“Me too.”

“Do you want to date that guy who picked you up?”

“What if I do?”

“I don’t ever take second place. So let me know now and I’ll leave.”

I weigh my options for a moment. I believe him. I really do think he’ll leave. And I think tomorrow he’ll either quit the teacher gig with some excuse, or just be professional from now on. So this is my chance to set a limit.

“Shannon? Do you want to date him?”

I shake my head. “He’s just a friend right now. But I like him. He’s nice.”

“I’m not nice.”

“Is that a statement or a question?”

“Both.”

“Well, why the fuck would I give up a nice guy for you?”

“Because you like the thought of me more.”

“You sure do presume a lot for not knowing anything about me.”

“You just said you were wild. You let me fuck you in the classroom. You came. You’re wet. I know enough.”

“Yesterday you made some snide remark about not knowing what’s good for me. I’m failing to see anything about you that’s good for me.”

“You came,” he repeats. “That was good for you.”

“You want to fuck me and I can get in trouble for that. So how is that good for me?”

“I’m the one taking the risk, Shannon. You’re eighteen, you’re allowed to sleep with whoever you want. I’m the teacher so I’m the one who will lose my job.”

“So why do this?”

“I don’t give a fuck about the job. I give a fuck about you. Tell me what you want. Do you want me to quit if we continue? Because I’ll find you another teacher.”

“But why me?” I just don’t get it.

“Why not you? Why are you so insecure? I like the way you look. I like the way you bite your lip when you’re choosing food from Bill’s. I like that angsty expression on your face all the time. The one that says I’ve got problems, leave me the fuck alone. I like this.” And then he leans in and kisses me, his hands in my hair before I even realize what’s happening.

But I kiss him back. Again.