Page 60 of Alonzo

“I fell for you, Lonnie! I fell so fucking hard! And your name isn’t even Lonnie! I’m mad at you, OK? So pissed off at you! Because I trusted you. And that’s not an easy thing for me to do. And then I find out my whole fucking life is a lie and on the same day—practically in the same damn moment—I find out you’re a lie too? Everything is a fucking lie so I’m…” She pauses, her eyes filling up with water. And then two tears leak out and slide down the side of her face. “So I’m mad at you, Lonnie. So very, very angry with you.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“Sorry doesn’t fix anything!”

“I know. But I’m still sorry. And if I had known that your life was falling apart the other day, I would’ve saved my truth for a better moment. I just… I’m tired of this, Tara. I’m tired of pretending with you. I just wanted you to see the real me so you could decide if I was still the person you fell for. That’s all. I swear to God, that’s all it was. Because I fell for you too, babe. So fuckin’ hard. And this—you… here! Holy shit! It’s like fucking Christmas Day for me. I wanted to invite you down here but I was afraid you’d say no. And—”

She reaches up with both hands. And for a second I think she’s gonna hit me. So I stop talking. But she says nothing.

“What?” I ask.

“Shut up.”

“What?”

“Just…” She presses her lips together. “Just shut up and fuck me.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN - TARA

He just stares at me while whole eternities of silence slip past us.

I realize I’m holding my breath so I let it out. “What the fuck is happening? Am I about to be rejected? Why am I such a dumbass? And when did I actually turn into loser Tara Tanner? Phoebe Covington wouldn’t even waste her time with these stupid games. She’d flip her hair, turn up her nose, and walk away from you. Sure that there was something much better than you just around the corner. So what the fuck are you doing, Lonnie? Why aren’t you ripping my clothes off?”

He puts a finger up to my lips. “Shhhh.”

I slap it away. “No! I’m not gonna shush. You have five seconds to rip my clothes off or I’m walking out your door and trust me, buddy, I won’t be back.”

“Tara.”

“What?”

“Stop talking.”

“I’ll stop talking when you start ripping my clothes off.”

“Don’t you get it?”

“No. I actually don’t get anything right now. I don’t understand one damn thing.”

“I’m memorizing this moment.”

“Why?”

“So later, when you’re like… sleeping or at work… I can jerk off to the memory of this convo.”

I huff. Then laugh. “What the fuck? Jesus Christ, Lonnie. I thought you were about to kick me out!”

“I’m gonna picture your face all hot and angry. Your eyes all welled up with tears and your heart beating all fast and furious. I’m gonna think about how I hiked you over my shoulder and spanked your ass. And how I carried you into my house like a caveman and bossed you around. And how you slapped me, and yelled, and got me all hard when you flipped me over and rubbed your pussy—”

“OK, already! I’m horny! Let’s go!”

He does this sideways grin thing—I’m talking chin dimple, cheek dimple, blow-my-mind-and-melt-my-heart sort of smile—then clicks his tongue and says, “Aw, no. babe. It’s not gonna be that easy.”

“What do you mean?”

“This is our first time, Tare. Our real first time. This needs to be epic.”

“Lonnie Derringer, everything I do is epic. Now stop talking and—”