Page 16 of Alonzo

I never claimed I was honest and I have been catfishing a really nice girl for the better part of two years now.

But you know what? Fuck the rules. Fuck the law. Fuck all of it.

No one is going to stop us from picking up our cargo and dropping it off safely.

This is why I can’t date girls in real life. This is why I have to lie to Tara. This is why I feel a little bit numb, a little bit satisfied, and a little bit empty.

We are smugglers.

And we’re proud of it.

I’m never going to apologize for what I do, or how I do it, or why I do it.

This is my new normal.

CHAPTER FOUR - TARA

“Madam Tara’s Psychic Hotline, how can I serve you today?”

Lonnie laughs on the other end of the phone. “Madam Tara?”

“Yes, I am Madam Tara. What can I do for you, Lonnie?”

“How did you know my name?”

“I am psychic, Lonnie. Keep up, please.”

“I think I called the wrong number.”

“No.”

“Yeah. I did. You see, I was calling Tara Tanner. Sexy librarian. I phone-fucked her hard this afternoon in the library bathroom and I was hoping…”

“You were hoping she wanted to do it again?”

“Uh. Yeah. So… like I said. Wrong number.”

“No. Right number. I am Madam Tara, sexy librarian.”

“No. You have a weird Russian accent.”

“All girls named Tara have Russian accent.”

“Simply not true, madam.”

“How can I prove to you?”

“That you’re Tara? Or that all girls named Tara have a bad Russian accent?”

“My Russian accent is perfect. How can I prove to you I am sexy phone-fucking librarian named Tara?”

“Hmmm… let me think.” He thinks for a moment. “You could phone-fuck me back, I guess.”

“I do you phone-fuck back. Bend over.”

“No, no, no—”

“You said fuck back. I stick my finger in your asshole and—”