Page 104 of Alonzo

“No… just…”

She points her finger at me yet again. “You know what, Lonnie? Fuck. You.”

Then it’s her turn to storm out. She slams the door behind her.

I resume my pacing of the living room. So fucking… I don’t know what I am.

Angry, mostly.

But also ashamed. Why I’m ashamed, not quite sure. But it’s probably because my best friend accused me of selling children. She actually thought I was capable of that.

Sad. Because after Madrid left, Zach explained why Johnny was here and what he was up to, and fuckin’ A. It makes so much sense. I had this… hope. I had hope that we’d plot our way out of this FBI mess, save my kids, save the girl he’s after—another Creepy Wendy, from the sound of it. I was gonna explain Diablo to Tara, tell Belinda the truth about her mom, and everything was going to be perfect.

And now… now nothing is perfect.

Everything is fucked.

My front door opens behind me. I whirl around, hoping it’s Tara coming back to apologize one more time.

But it’s not. It’s Jesse. “Dude,” I say. “Not now, OK? I can’t deal with you. I’ve got too much on my mind.”

He puts up his hands. “I get it. You fucked up. But we can fix it. I told you. I’m the PR king. OK? All you gotta do is apologize exactly the way I tell you to.”

“Me?” I guffaw. “I’m not apologizing! I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Well.” He laughs, then winces. “Lonz, my bro. You’re a kid smuggler. OK? You don’t get to claim innocence.”

“I smuggle Third World orphans into the United States, Jesse. We find them families!”

“I understand that. But it’s still very much illegal.”

“Fuck that! I don’t care! They’re just kids! I’m not going to apologize for helping kids! And if Tara wants to hate me for that, fine. That’s fine. It’s her life.”

“And yet… you didn’t even give her a chance to hate you for it, Lonnie.”

I make a face at him. “Do not call me Lonnie. Only one person gets to call me Lonnie.”

“Right. One girl. The only girl who matters. But you still don’t get it. You know, when you told me you didn’t need my help, I almost believed you.”

“What?”

“Yeah. You’re right. You’re a huge, six-foot-four, tatted-up, hot-as-fuck fisherman. Girls follow you around begging you to fuck them. But you know what? None of that matters when you’re a douchebag on the inside. Trust me. I know this better than anyone. I learned my lesson the hard way too.”

I scowl at him. “What the fuck are you talking about? You were a drugged-up, skirt-chasing asshole. I’m saving kids!”

“God, you’re really dumb, you know that? When Miles asked me to help you I thought he was crazy. But clearly, you need more help than I can offer. Because none of this has to do with your hidden altruistic side, Alonzo. And it’s got everything to do with seeing Tara as a partner. Not something you can just keep at home for the sexy fun stuff after a long day of living dangerously.”

“That’s not what I was doing. I was protecting her.”

“You know, you and I have something in common.”

“Aside from my sister?” I sneer at him. “Not likely, Jesse.”

“Yeah, really. When I came down here I didn’t know what Johnny was up to. Hell, I spent most of my life ignorant of all the things he was doing behind the scenes. I thought he was pretty much the biggest dick in the world until last summer. He’s got some pretty dangerous secrets, Lonz. Most of them are not beautiful, like the ones you’re keeping. And maybe, for a little bit, it pissed me off that he kept those secrets for himself. I could’ve helped, ya know. I’m really not as dumb as people think. It’s just a part I’ve been playing for so long now I figure—eh, who cares what people think of me? Emma gets me. And her opinion is the only one that matters. But here’s where you and I are different. I never wanted to keep secrets from Emma. I mean, even if I did, she would not stand for it. So why bother, ya know? But when something new happens to me, or I discover something old, even, and fit it into the puzzle that is the Boston family, she is the first one I want to tell. She is the first one I go to. Because your sister, Lonnie? She’s a pretty amazing woman. She would never want to sit on the sidelines.”

And for the first time ever I see Jesse Boston smile in a different way. Not a charming way. A… sad way. “So here’s my last point. And then I’m gonna go over to Zach’s house and help Johnny, Chek, and Creepy Wendy figure out how to save their little creepy kid on that boat of kids you’re smuggling now that the FBI is on to them. Are you ready?”

I flip my hand at him. “Fuckin’ whatever. Say your peace.”