Page 79 of Bossy Bride: Emma and Jesse

I point at him again. “You’re a dick, you know that, Miles?”

“I do, sir.”

“Seriously, what do you want for your present? I’m kinda rich, so don’t be shy. But I’m not gonna kill anyone. I really don’t have it in me.”

“Of course not, sir. I would like for you to help out Mr. Dumas. He’s in a spot.”

“Jack?”

“No, sir. Alonzo. He’s in some trouble and requires assistance. But he won’t ask. He can’t tell Tony what he’s been up to because he will never hear the end of it, his father is busy with other things, Luke is in the middle of a blissful sexual threesome, Johnny doesn’t like him, and while Joey did build his current life on a bed of lies, he’s not really the man for the job. So that leaves you.”

“Wait.” I put up a hand. “What the fuck are you talking about? What job?”

“Alonzo, sir. He’s having… girl trouble.”

I bark out a laugh so loud, Miles takes a step back. “Alonzo needs my help with a girl?”

“He does, sir. When I signed on to work for Miss Dumas, now Mrs. Boston, I signed on to take care of her whole family. And I have noticed that Alonzo is struggling in the love department. He has trouble opening up and I feel like you have mastered this particular skill. At the very least you are the first to make it official.” He stops and smiles.

I wait for more info, but he seems to have finished his little speech.

I let out a long breath. “Miles?”

“Yes, sir?”

“I feel like you’re not quite grasping the meaning of the word ‘present.’ When a billionaire offers you the gift of your choice you ask for… I dunno. A fancy car, or a racehorse, or hell, a Fabergé egg, if that’s your thing. You do not ask him to give his brother-in-law love lessons.”

“I understand, sir.”

“OK.” I nod “OK. Then… what kind of present do you want?”

“I would like you to give Alonzo love lessons, sir.”

“No, Miles! My man. That’s not—”

“Knock, knock!” The pocket door is sliding open as these words come out of Emma’s mouth. “You awake, Mr. Boston?”

“Hey, Mrs. Boston,” I say, smiling up at my wife. “I’m up.”

She glances down at my morning wood and chuckles. “I can see that. But Christopher tells me we’re about to land, so get dressed. It’s Christmas! And I have a very, very special present planned for you.” She waggles her eyebrows at me.

“Oh!” I laugh. “OK, then! I’ll be right out.”

She closes the door and I turn back to Miles. “Miles, don’t ask me to do this. That dude hates my guts. Like, he seriously planned the skydiving hoping I’d die. Or at the very least be seriously injured. I’m really not the man for the job.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Great. So what can I get you?”

“Love lessons for Alonzo, sir.”

I throw up my hands. “That’s not how you play!”

“I know, sir. You’re the expert. That’s why Alonzo needs you.”

“How do you even know he needs me?”

“I spy on him, sir.”