Page 74 of Bossy Bride: Emma and Jesse

Does internal satisfaction depend on external factors?

You can’t ever know if you make someone happy. They can tell you with words or you can assume that you do, but you can’t ever really know what’s going on inside someone else’s head.

But in that moment, I knew.

I knew the meaning of happy.

Happiness comes from being right where you’re supposed to be. Happiness comes from that feeling of total acceptance and belonging. Happiness is a moment. It doesn’t come with a guarantee. There’s no promise of more to come, it just is.

And every moment of every day you get to choose to feel it or not.

I said, “Hey. You wanna swim out to that sandbar with me?” And I nodded my head in the general direction of a thin stretch of white sand surrounded by a swaying ocean of hidden life.

She turned, slowly, still smiling. Didn’t say a word. Didn’t say yes, didn’t say no. Just slid her sunglasses down her face, tossed them onto a nearby table, climbed up on the railing of the side deck, and dove straight into the water.

That’s when I realized something.

That’s when the meaning of happy hit me.

Emma Dumas is my happy.

I climbed up on the rail and dove in after her. She was floating on her back, just smiling up at the sky as she drifted in the middle of this massive body of water. A tiny speck in a universe of everything.

So small. But so big too. Because she was my everything.

We swam out, dragged ourselves out of the heavy water and collapsed onto the sandbar. My arm was underneath her and her head was resting on my shoulder. Our feet were still in the surf and every ten seconds or so, a wave would crash over our knees and remind us to be happy.

Remind us to cherish the moments.

We stayed like that for a long while. Saying nothing. Doing nothing.

And then I took a deep breath and I said, “You’re my happy, Emma. We could be drifting in the middle of nothingness and as long as you were there, I’d be happy.”

She propped herself up on one elbow and looked down into my eyes. She leaned down, kissed me on the mouth, and whispered, “Yes.” Then she placed one flat hand on my cheek and kissed me again.

We lingered in that kiss for many lifetimes. All of it suddenly became clear.

We were in love and we were getting married.

There was a more formal announcement later that evening in front of our family and friends and that was perfect too.

All our people in this one place, for this short interlude of time. Something between then and now.

And it seemed… right.

“Jesse,” Jack Dumas says, as he looks down at me.

“Yes, sir?”

“I’m handing her over to you now.”

“I understand, sir.”

“And I know you… maybe didn’t have the best role model growing up. But I see a good man inside you, Jesse.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“And I’d just like you to know that you’re one of us now. We’re on the same side, son.”