Page 31 of Bossy Bride: Emma and Jesse

“Good answer.” I snicker. “OK. So. First, we need to get to the airport.” Both of us look out the front window, where the street party is still in full swing. “We can’t go that way, obviously.” I get out my phone, pull up my Uber app, and then ask for a car. “We’ll sneak around back and meet our Uber there. Oh, look! One is just two minutes away! It’s like fate!” I press the button to call the car. “Let’s go.”

We go out through the back yard and leave through the side gate. But it becomes clear that the only way to get over to the street behind us is through Kraken Karen’s side yard.

“Shit.” I look over my shoulder at the street party. “Do you think the Kraken is still out there? Because we have to sneak past her house.”

Jesse looks lazily at the party, then back at me, and shrugs. “Your plan, Ems. I follow you.”

I huff. “It would not kill you to be a little bossy, ya know?”

“I don’t know where Karen is. But”—he looks past me towards her house—“it’s pretty dark in there. I bet they’re all at the party. Come on, I’ll lead the way since you’re terrified of her.” He takes my hand and starts pulling me along the fence towards the Krakken back yard.

“I’m not terrified of her,” I whisper back as we creep. “I can take Kraken Karen any day of the week.”

He shoots a dubious look over his shoulder. “Babe, come on. We’re eloping to Vegas in the middle of the night just so you don’t have to let her plan your wedding.”

“And be my bridesmaid! Anyway, what’s your point?”

“My point is… that’s kind of ridiculous.”

“In a good way though, right?”

“Sure.” He chuckles. “In a good way.”

Karen’s back yard doesn’t have a fence, so pretty soon we’re over in enemy territory. Then we see the headlights of a slowly creeping car that must surely be our ride come into view and stop in front of the Krakken house. I wasn’t paying attention when I called it, so I bet her address popped up once I moved the little marker to one street over.

It’s fine though. I’m sure she’s still at the party—

“Who’s there?”

Shit! Jesse and I stop in our tracks then slowly turn our heads to find a little girl on the back porch. Clearly this is Chauncey Krakken Channing.

“Just us,” Jesse says good-naturedly. “Your neighbors. We’re meeting that car right there and we’ll be—”

“Mom!” the little heathen yells.

“No, no!” Jesse says, dropping my hand and the wheelie handle so he can put both of his up in surrender. “We’re just passing through!”

“Mom! Emma Dumas and her boyfriend are creeping around our backyard!”

“Run!” I yell.

Jesse looks at me. “What?”

“Run! Now!”

I take his hand and pull him along the side of Karen’s house and when we come out into the front we see the Uber. But it’s a few houses up now, looking for us. We dart out into Karen’s front yard, trying to head it off before it picks up speed and leaves us behind, when who comes out the front door but—

“Stop right there, Emma!”

And I don’t know why, but we do. We stop and turn to look at Karen. She’s standing on her front porch with arms crossed. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Vegas,” Jesse says.

“What the hell, Jesse? You don’t have to tell her!” Then I glare at Karen. “You might think you’ve weaseled your way back into my life, but you’re wrong. You will never, ever”—I’m seething out my words like a crazy woman—“plan my wedding or be my bridesmaid!”

Then I take off in a run, tugging Jesse behind me.

But the car has reached the stop sign at the end of the street and has a blinker on, ready to turn left. “Stop!” I yell. “Here we are!”