You never know.
Besides, leaving him has its own risks. I’m in the middle of something here and if I cut my losses
now, yeah. I’ll live to see another day. But will it be worth it?
I’m a survivor though. Not many people taken down to the dungeon ever walk free again. That right
there just proves it. And yes, Johnny did come in and save me. But I was in the middle of saving
myself when that happened. I’m convinced I’d have pulled it off.
My father wasn’t stupid and if there’s one lesson he drilled home in me it was this:
You can go anywhere, do anything, be anyone—as long as your eyes are open. As long as you see
what others can’t. As long as you’re more careful than everyone else around you.
I see you, Johnny Boston.
I see what you are underneath.
And I have learned to be very, very careful.
CHAPTER SEVEN - JOHNNY
People believe lies because they want to.
They have a worldview already established and this lie fits neatly into their version of reality. Or
they are desperate for something to be true, or false, and this desperation creates a state of willful
denial.
When people fall out of love, for instance. They know it’s over long before it’s over. But admitting
the truth leads to action and action requires effort. And sometimes you just don’t have the extra
strength inside to face a new direction and forge forward into the unknown.
So lies will do.
I’m a perfect example. I have spent the past five years in denial. I have spent most of my life
convincing myself that I’m the sacrificial lamb and if I just do my job Jesse and Joey will be fine.
It’s not true. And the reason it’s not true is because I have no power. That’s another lie I bought in
to. People think I’m this dangerous, powerful man who can make things happen.
Which is sort of accurate. It’s not all that difficult to go beat the shit out of someone to make them
fall in line. And once you have a reputation like that making people see your point of view and take
the action you prefer isn’t very hard, either.
But that’s all based on reputation.
I don’t have much real power. Not outside the Way. Money only gets you so much. People with real