Page 172 of Johnny

“That’s what I thought,” I say. “But my father’s word was law. Everyone knew that. So he put me in

this chess club.”

“Chess, huh? That’s… ironic.”

“Yeah. I mean, is it? Ironic? Do you play chess?”

“Not seriously, but… everyone plays chess.”

“Do they?” I laugh.

“Don’t they?”

God, this girl. “Anyway. I was in the chess club now. And maybe you’ve never seen a chess club?

But it’s filled with kids just like me.”

“How do you mean?”

“Kids who are too smart, too calculating. Kids who set up a flawless fucking argument to gain a

person’s trust and put them at ease, only to go in for the kill later.”

“You’re throwing my words back at me.”

“I know. But I’m doing it in a playful way.” I grin at her and she looks down at the sea. “But for the

record, I don’t like people like that either. My dad was like that. And now I was forced to be with

kids like that. So I decided to just”—I shrug with my hands—“opt out, I guess.”

“Opt out, how?”

“You know. Hate people. Not really hate people, but hate being with people, maybe? I’m trying to

say I became a loner. I liked the imaginary world my brothers and I created. I wanted to do that. I

wanted to live that life. I wanted to be the hero. But as I got older I realized I’m not the hero. I’m the

villain. So I just… dropped out. And now I’m used to it, Megan. I’m used to living inside my own

head. So that’s why people see me this way, ya know? I cultivated it. But not in a malicious way. I’d

like to make that clear. I just had to find a place where I fit in. And the only place I had was inside my

head. So I get it. I’m this tatted-up, scary, violent dude with just enough power to make him effective

and that’s all people see these days. And it’s sad.” I shrug. “It is. I get it. But I’ll tell you a little secret if you promise not to judge me.”

She crosses her heart with her finger again.

“I like it,” I whisper. “I like being alone. I don’t want to play someone else’s game. I don’t want to

outthink people, and manipulate them. I don’t want to grow up.”

She makes a lopsided grin. “You’re Peter Pan?”

“No, Megan. I already told you. I’m Captain Hook.”