Page 154 of Johnny

“Do you care what I want?”

“I… don’t know.”

“You shouldn’t. I’m no one. I’m a sick, psychotic murderer. You should not give one fuck what I

think about anything. And anyway, this isn’t about me, it’s about you.”

She doesn’t say anything. In fact, several moments pass in silence so I open my eyes to look at her.

“OK. Fine,” she says. “I’ll tell you what I think. I think you’re using me right now. I think you need

more answers and for some reason you think I’ve got them. Now you’re playing a new game with me

so I’ll give you all that information. How am I doing?”

“Pretty accurate so far.”

“Great,” she says, turning away from me. But I twirl her back.

“But I still like you.”

“Right. I should believe that why? I mean, you just told me you’re using me to get information.”

“You should believe me because you lied to me. You set me up. And you’re still alive.”

She opens her mouth to snap back at me, but the realness of my words sink in. She inhales and

whispers, “Only because you need me.”

I frown. Shrug with my hands. “OK. Then I’ll do it without you. You go one way, I’ll go the other,

and who knows? Maybe we’ll meet up some day when we don’t need each other and we can give it

another go.”

She just shakes her head at me.

“There’s nothing I can say, Megan. There is no way I can make you trust me now. And there’s no

way you can make me trust you either. Either we make a choice to do that, or we make a choice not to.

That’s all there is to it.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Why?

“Because I like you.”

“I like you too.”

“And none of it’s real.”

I shrug. “Some of it’s real.”

“Yeah. The lies.”

“Wow,” I say.