Page 149 of Johnny

Like so many cool fucking ways to go out in the ocean. Just jump overboard and get eaten. Or,” he

says, holding up a finger. “Or… I hear that drowning is kinda peaceful. Like you just enjoy that underwater white noise, ya know? Then take a few gulps and…” He shrugs. “There you have it.”

“Who the fuck are you?”

He shrugs with his hand and grins at me. “Johnny Boston. In the flesh.”

“No, I mean who the fuck are you to try and sell me this line of utter bullshit? Like who the fuck do

you think you are? Some mystical fucking prophet? Some wannabe Jesus? Are you writing this down,

Johnny? Gathering up disciples? Are you trying to take us all with you? Oh,” I laugh. “Oh, maybe…

maybe there’s some comet passing by and you’re gonna get everyone to drink your Kool-Aid so you

can take people out with you? Is that the kind of spectacular you’re looking for?”

He points at me. “That’s a mixed metaphor. The comet people and the Kool-Aid people are two

totally different sets of suicide pacts. The comet people ate pudding.”

I blink at him. “You’re insane.”

“Yeah,” he says. “I’m fuckin’ crazy. But you know what? At least I’m fuckin’ trying.”

I scramble across the bed and get to my feet. I stand at my full height and look up into his eyes.

Press myself up against his chest and point my finger in his face. “You don’t get to tell me I’m not

trying. You don’t get to spill out your psychobabble bullshit and put me neatly into some group. OK?

You don’t even know me. I didn’t ask for this life either. I didn’t ask to be born into a… a fuckin’ cult,

or whatever the hell the Way is. But here I am and I’m doing my best.”

“Are you? Are you really? Is this a choice, Megan? Or just another decision born from

circumstance?”

I pull my hand back to slap him. But he grabs my wrist and holds it tight. “You wanna slap me?”

“Yes,” I growl, grabbing his forearm with my other hand and digging my nails into his flesh. “Yes, I

want to slap the fuck out of you. Who the hell are you? Huh? Who the hell do you think you are?”

“I’m the guy who’s gonna stop it, Megan.” He stares me right in the eyes. “I’m the guy with a plan.

Because yeah, OK. Fine. I’m here, I didn’t ask for it, and it’s all a bunch of bullshit. But unlike you, I

don’t have the luxury of giving up. I have two brothers coming up behind me. That’s two more

opportunities for the Way to fuck with me if I make my one and only choice and end it early. And I’ve

been protecting them for too many years to give up now. So you can call me insane all you want. You

can pretend I’m not making any sense. You can build yourself up by playing victim but here’s a

newsflash for you, Megan. We’re all victims. None of us asked to be here, we’re just stuck. So grow