Page 115 of Johnny

like long-lost friends the moment you meet. I’m still not sure which category Megan falls in to, but

there’s no more time to figure it out.

I know that whatever she’s a part of, it’s not her fault the same way all the things I’m a part of

aren’t really my fault.

Still, we all make choices, don’t we? We all weigh the good, and the bad, and the ugly and come to

some kind of decision on how to proceed.

That’s all I’m doing now.

It’s got nothing to do with how I feel about her.

So when I get back to the cabaña almost two hours later I take off my clothes and climb in to her

bed.

She turns over, sleepily rubbing her eyes as she tries to open them. Her blonde hair shines in the

light of the moon coming through the gauzy white curtains over the window and I smile.

It’s a real smile.

“Ten minutes,” she mumbles.

“Got caught up,” I say, slipping my arm underneath her so I can hold her next to my chest.

She sighs in the darkness, then settles her chin against my shoulder. And soon her breathing evens

out. Her conscience clear enough for sleep.

Unlike mine, which is totally unsettled.

But it’s nice anyway. And I enjoy it.

I think about things as I listen to her soft, rhythmic breathing and feel the slow thumping of her heart

up against my ribs.

I think about my father and my uncle. My grandfather. Still wondering how all this shit happened.

Were they born into the Way like I was? Or did they join?

I’ll never know that answer, I guess. They’re all gone now so there’s no one to ask. Maybe, once this is all over, I could ask Michael Conner and his ilk if they have any answers for me, but I’m not

sure I could trust them. Not even if we win this war and walk away free.

They’re even more in the dark than I am. What they know would just be rumors.

So I let that go and think about Jesse and Joey. About how their lives have suddenly changed. How

maybe that’s not just a coincidence. How maybe nothing is just a coincidence.

And then I think about Megan again. Her little speech tonight at dinner. I play it back in my head for

a few moments, trying to get the wording right.