Page 62 of Joey

I agree. His friend is way more than a handful.

Then I turn and go back into the bedroom and start looking through my suitcase for my bathing suit.

When I come back out they’re laughing and drinking. Joking around talking about old times. Totally at ease with each other.

And it’s weird. Because I realize something as I watch them set up the beach vacay in Fiji we took two years ago.

I really am jealous.

So fucking jealous.

Not of Huck. Not of Wald. Not of Joey.

Of them.

I’m jealous of them.

This team they have. These memories they already possess.

I’m jealous because I wasn’t there and they were.

I’m jealous because I want that again. The feeling of belonging to someone. That inner certainty that someone has your back no matter what.

I want to be on their team for real.

But I need to face some facts here. I can make them pay me for this con in friendship all I want. But I’m never going to be on their team.

Not because of Wald and Huck, but because of Joey.

As far as he’s concerned his team has no room for me.

I should leave. I should get up, and walk out, and never look back.

But I won’t. I know I won’t.

Even though this job is a take-it-or-leave-it kinda of deal and it’s not the fairy tale I’ve been looking for my whole life, it’s the best deal I’ve had in a very long time. And I don’t care if rationalizing this makes me look desperate. I am desperate so I’m gonna take the deal. I’m going along for the ride until they boot me out.

But I need to protect myself too. That little girl inside me is fragile. She’s been afraid of something her whole life. In the beginning it was my mother, and her boyfriend, and the shitty life they gave me.

Then it was something else. The new life when that special door opened for me and showed me there was another way to live. A way to make your own family and not be stuck with the one you were given.

It was better, but it wasn’t perfect, that’s for damn sure.

I enjoyed the good while it lasted and hardened my heart for the disappointment to come.

And come it did.

So fine. Joey Boston has made his point.

I am his fake girlfriend. I get it. That’s all I’ll ever be.

But I know what I want. And I’m not going to give up on my dream just because he’s confused.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN - JOEY

“Can you believe we’ve only known each other one day?” Brooke is in my arms and we’re in my bed. “It’s so fucking strange.”

But she doesn’t say anything. Just… lies here next to me. Breathing softly.