Page 36 of Joey

That’s the trouble with being in the middle. Johnny got his year to himself. Jesse got his year to himself. But me? I didn’t get any years alone to figure out who I was.

Before Jesse’s last year at primary school he spent his whole life in the shadow of his brothers. So that year alone he changed. He changed a lot.

And Johnny? One year with no little brothers tagging along and watching his every move? He took advantage of that. Because I barely recognized him when I got to high school. And I never saw him at home, either. He was always somewhere inside the Bossy Building doing… well.

I guess I can guess what he was doing after I saw that shit-show ceremony last month.

Three years and the right circumstances. That’s all it took to rip us apart forever and realize the only thing we had in common was a last name.

But Maisy won’t have that problem because there are no older or younger siblings to move forward without her or leave her behind.

I don’t picture Maisy at these schools. Not yet, anyway. It’s too soon for that. I’m the kind of guy who doesn’t like to get his hopes up too high.

Maisy is my daughter and the Kanes can fuck me through the legal system all they want. They can’t really keep me from her. Not forever. So one day she will be part of my life.

But that day could be a long way off if I fuck this up. So I’m not gonna daydream about school uniforms just yet.

If Wald is in charge of the dreams, then Huck is in charge of the soundtrack that goes with it. Me? I’m just a realist.

Way too early to count on anything yet.

“Do we really need something this big?” Brooke asks. Still looking around the neighborhood.

Even though her use of the word ‘we’ in the context of what kind of house is needed by ‘us’, immediately has me thinking about Wald’s crazy theories, I just play it off and shrug.

“I dunno. But if I ever get to bring Maisy home with me, then I want her to have a nice proper house, ya know? And I like this neighborhood. I like the trees and the shade. And the lots are all big. I imagine myself building her a playhouse in the back yard.”

Brooke kinda laughs.

I will allow myself that one daydream. I always wanted a tree house. But of course, there’s no trees on the top floors of the Bossy Building.

The realtor is getting out of the Mercedes in front of us, but for some reason Brooke and I still don’t move.

“I’m not laughing at that,” she explains. “I think it’s nice, actually. That you want that kind of stuff for her.”

“It is a little bit weird. So you can laugh if you want. I don’t even care what people think. I want to be a father to this little girl so bad I can’t explain it. I don’t even understand it.”

She turns her head to look at me. Smiles.

But I think it’s a sad smile. I’m just about to ask her why she’s wearing that expression when there’s a tap on my window.

Her eyes flick over my shoulder and she smiles bigger. “Here we go. Time to make up some more memories.”

And then she laughs again, only this time, it’s real.

CHAPTER TEN - BROOKE

This neighborhood is something else. It’s old and the lots and houses are big. Possibly more on the huge side. They are not massive houses. Not mansions or anything. But this is a proper rich-people neighborhood.

I walk around the car and stand next to Joey. He’s already shaking the realtor’s hand. “This is my girlfriend, Brooke Alder,” he says, introducing me.

That is so weird. Hearing this literal stranger introduce me as his girlfriend to a realtor who fully expects to make a fat commission off us today makes my body buzz with so many unidentifiable emotions I falter for a moment and forget how to talk.

“Very nice to meet you,” the man says. “I’m Allen Burkhart.”

“Likewise, Mr. Burkhart,” I manage. “It’s a pleasure.”

“Please. Call me Allen. So you’re getting married soon?”