Page 130 of Joey

“You don’t have to decide now.”

I nod. But then I take a deep breath, man up, and shake my head. “I do. Because I started this and her life will be uprooted, even if it’s just in some peripheral way. Michael will be distracted, worrying about me, and Johnny, and what we might do next. And that means Maisy will get less of him. Her life will be less full if I leave this in limbo.”

I lower my eyes to my fingers, which have started to unbutton my shirt. But the next thing I know Wald is closing the distance between us. I look up at him and find him staring intently at me. “What?”

He places his hand on my cheek. His palm warm against my skin. Eyes still locked with mine. His eyes are green. I don’t think I’ve ever noticed that before. Like, I knew they were green, but I never paid much attention to them.

But right now they’re all I see. The only thing I can think about. How there’s little circles of gold swirling around his irises. How the inner edges are dark, like the color of a pine-tree forest, and the outer edges are almost blue, like the water near a tropical beach.

Wald is a beautiful man. Not just his body, which is perfectly sculpted with muscle. But inside too. Everything about him is thoughtful, and serious, and when he does something, he does it hard. He works hard, he plays hard, he loves hard.

He leans in and kisses me.

His lips are soft and his mouth is easy to kiss back. So I do that automatically. Sucking in a deep breath of air like I need it. I need that air to fuel this kiss. Because my body is suddenly hot with want for him.

He pulls back and I swallow hard. Find it difficult to meet his gaze now, even though just a few seconds ago I was lost in his eyes. “What was that for?”

“Shut up,” he says. His hands reaching for the button of my suit pants. He pops it and drags the zipper down. His hand sliding inside to grab me without hesitation.

I glance at Huck, who has been undressing this whole time, so he’s naked. I don’t think they planned this. I certainly wasn’t thinking about sex when we all came into the bedroom. I was thinking about sleep, and whether or not it would show up tonight, and forgetting about everything that’s happened over the past several weeks.

My gaze lands on Brooke next. She’s sitting on the bed, her discarded dress on the floor in front of her. Reaching around behind her back to unclasp her bra. It comes loose and she lets it slide down her arms and drop in her lap. “Don’t do it,” she whispers. Lifting up her hips to ease her panties down her legs.

“Don’t do what?”

“Give up.”

Huck walks over to Brooke and sits down next to her. He puts his arm around her, pulls one of her legs over one of his so she’s half sitting in his lap, and begins to fondle her breast.

I watch them and they watch us.

Wald is leaning in to me. His lips kissing my neck. His palm wrapped around my cock, sliding up and down my shaft. I lean back against the wall. Sinking into it. Asking it to give me strength and hold me up.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” I whisper. “I don’t want to be me.”

“Shut up,” Wald whispers back. Kissing me on the mouth again. “Just shut the fuck up and take off my shirt.”

I kiss him hard for a moment. Taking out my frustration on his mouth. Our tongues twisting together and then I pull back and gently bite his lower lip. He smiles and pushes his whole body against mine.

His shirt is already unbuttoned so I start to slide it down his arms and he lets me, releasing my cock so he can shrug it off.

My hand flattens on his chest. Feeling his heart beat wildly under my touch. My other hand goes to the front of his pants and I pop the button and pull down the zipper.

He grabs my hand. Squeezes it tight. Kissing me still.

I close my eyes when he slips my hand inside his boxer briefs and urges me to take him in my palm.

His cock is hard, and long, and thick. And when I squeeze it, he moans into my mouth.

Most of the time this relationship we have is confusing. I never know what to think about it. I never know if we’re friends, or lovers, or both, or nothing. It’s always been up in the air like that. A thing we have, but don’t understand.

But right now I don’t care. I just like the way he makes me feel.

I open my eyes again to look at Huck and Brooke. They’re kissing too. Brooke’s eyes are closed but Huck’s are open and he’s staring back at me with heavy lids filled with lust.

For who though? Brooke? Me? Wald? All of us? All of this?

I don’t know the answer to that and even if I was in the mood to ask, I don’t get the chance. Because Huck pulls Brooke all the way into his lap, stands up, and then walks over to Wald and me. He sets her down in front of us and says, “Kneel down, Brooke.”