Page 3 of The Square

CHAPTER TWO - DANNY

She’s been reckless.

I’ve seen her like this before. It’s a type of mania, I think. That all-powerful, no-one-can-touch me feeling of strength that comes with a plan. Or no. A purpose. A plan implies you know what you’re doing. And hey, maybe she does. But I don’t think so.

When she found me in the yacht that day she came back, I was ready to leave. Ready to just take my fuckin’ medicine and accept my future. It was a bleak future. I realize that now that I’ve had a month to separate from the depression.

I had a purpose too. Kill Brasil. But I didn’t have a plan either.

So I’m not gonna judge Christine. Hell, I haven’t even asked her what the fuck we’re actually doing. Why bother? We’re on the other side of the world from the hellfire that’s coming and we’ve morphed into ocean time.

I like that about yachts. The way they slow the world down and break it up into things like sunrises, and sunsets, and, Hey, look at the dolphins! I bet a train is like a yacht. That rick-rack back-and-forth motion is nice too.

Next time we run away I think we should do it by train.

So I’m OK with the whole purpose-over-plan thing.

But like I said, she’s been reckless.

We did a minor arms deal in Suva, Fiji and there was a… a hardness to her I don’t think I’ve seen before. Course, I’ve missed her last four years and even though she hasn’t talked about what happened during our separation yet, I get the feeling it was a whole lot more than just killing people.

Which is bad enough, I get that.

But that’s just business—the way a small arms deal is just business—but this interaction we had with Nikhil for the guns in Suva felt very personal. We’re definitely not gonna do any more deals with Nikhil again.

Which is unfortunate because I always liked Nikhil. He’s not quite honest—who is in this business?—but he never ripped us off too bad and he wasn’t being unreasonable this time either.

Christine didn’t see it that way and by the time the deal was over one of his guys was dead.

Nope. Not gonna buy any more guns from Nikhil.

If it was just that I’d write it off. She is an assassin.

But it’s more than how aggressive she got in Fiji. It’s the way she stands on the deck in a storm, daring the lightning to strike her down. Or the way she studies the map, leaning over it at night under a soft beam of light jotting down notes while I cook us dinner. Notes that say shit like, Stop here to see Jin, and pick up supplies from Matthew North. And one that has a little circle around Hilo, Hawaii, that says, Make phone call.

We’re not there yet so I’m not worried about it. We did see Jin. Stayed on land that night too. But whatever went down I had no part in it. Never saw the actual exchange, never had anything more than casual conversation with Jin, and the next morning we were up with the sun and back on our way.

I didn’t even see Matthew North. So whatever she was doing with him—well, it had nothing to do with me, I guess. But she came back with a black eye.

If I had known she was meeting up with Matthew I’d have gone with her. But I was sleeping when we arrived at Wallis Island and by the time I realized the catamaran was docked, she was gone.

The black eye was the only thing she came back with. There were no supplies—which we didn’t need anyway. It felt like we were island-hopping like the old days instead of making our way to the West Coast of America. We had plenty of supplies. Hell, the actual ocean crossing hadn’t even started yet. But there were no guns, either.

Which means she went to see Matthew on Wallis for information.

Information she didn’t share with me.

I didn’t ask. So it’s not like she’s keeping shit from me on purpose.

I just don’t want to know.

I don’t think I need to know.

Alec is alive. I know that much. And maybe that’s all I need to know?

But as we approach Hilo this detachment I’ve settled into over the past few months begins to make me nervous. Not that something bad will happen—bad shit happens all the fucking time—but that her purpose, like her, is maybe a little bit too reckless and perhaps we need an actual plan.

So when she gives me the slip on Hilo to make her phone call I do the same.