Page 104 of The Square

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE - CHRISTINE

So here westand. Just the three of us. And that’s just fine with me.

“OK then,” Danny says, following the Watsons into the other room.

And now it is two.

“Christine—”

“I know,” I say, more anger and resentment in my voice than I’d like. So I take a deep breath and turn to face him. “I got it.”

I turn to follow Danny but Alec grabs my hand. “Wait.”

“What?”

“Are you angry with me?”

“No,” I say, exasperated. Because I kinda am. And I kinda have reason to be. But I do understand I don’t have reason to be as well. So I say… “It’s just our new reality, that’s all.”

He nods. Continues to hold my hand but says nothing. This is all me.

“I’ll get used to the idea, OK?” And in this moment, I feel that is a very generous offer.

But Alec shakes his head.

“Fine, I like her, is that good enough?”

He offers me a smile. Like I’m close, but not there yet.

So I huff out a resigned sigh and say, “She’s perfect. Is that what you want to hear? She will be very easy to love. Hell, I’m already in love with her. It’s not Andra’s fault I have… issues. And I know better. I would never, ever take it out on her.”

The smile grows. “I know that,” he says. “I never had any doubts and neither did you. I just think it’s good to say things like this out loud so they become our truth. Our team got a little bigger while we weren’t looking. I’m sorry you weren’t consulted—”

“Alec—”

“—I’m more sorry than you’ll ever know that you weren’t the one who gave us our addition—”

“Alec, please—”

“But we’re here now and I need you to know… nothing has changed.”

Everything has changed.

“Not between us,” he says, shaking his head like he’s reading my mind. “We are stronger, better, and more in love than ever. She is ours, Christine. Ours.”

“I don’t think Eliza will see it that way.”

“Eliza will have to find her own way forward. She is not our concern. You,” he says, his thumb stroking my hand. “And Danny. And me. We are the ones who count.”

“OK, so let’s stop fucking talking about it and go make a plan to kill your brother.”

He just stares at me and I wilt.

God, what is wrong with me? Why do I let Eliza Watson turn me into this… this… petty, sad little girl? Why do I give her power like that? Surely I can adult my way through this? Right? I can be the better person. Not stoop and all that nonsense?

But Eliza has always made me feel small. And I am small next to her. I am young, and small, and weak and…

Alec reaches out with his other hand and places his palm against my cheek. He gazes down at me like I’m the most important thing in the world.