Page 127 of The Triangle

Christine didn’t say a word the whole time. Not one word.

I talked to myself, mostly. “This way,” and, “That way,” and, “Over there.”

But we didn’t find bodies. We found nothing.

Alec once said, “Our love transcends everything.”

Except betrayal, I guess. Because there’s no love left now. Not in me, anyway.

I don’t blame Christine. It’s not her fault. It’s my fault.

My fault for taking her out of the foster system.

My fault for pretending I could care for her.

My fault for introducing her to Alec.

My fault for letting her grow into a killer.

My fault for walking away and my fault for coming back.

Every bit of this is all my fault.

So why am I taking it out on her? When three months ago she was all I wanted?

I guess it’s because… that’s not all I want now.

There’s three of us, not two.

There is no her without him. No me without them.

“I have to go somewhere.”

I understand that this is the second time she’s said that and there have been many minutes in between the two statements. But I’m sitting on a sand bar on the inside part of the Aitutaki atoll, looking over at One Foot Island where we left the boat, and all I can think about is that day back in paradise. “We should’ve just… stayed here,” I say. “Stopped time and stayed here.”

She says nothing.

So neither do I. More minutes go by. I can practically see her back then. Like she’s right in front of me again. Picking up fistfuls of sand. Letting time slip through her fingers. I want to get up out of my chair, go to her. Make her keep that sand in her fists.

Make her stop.

But of course, she is right in front of me. Right now.

Except she’s not her and I’m not him, and Alec is gone. Or dead. Does it matter?

“I have to—”

“I heard you,” I say. Quietly.

She sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Still, I feel… I know that, but… I’m… just sorry.”

I asked her once what Alec did. What was it that sent her over to Lars.

She slapped me. “I wasn’t with Lars! Everything he said was a lie!”