Page 69 of Play Dirty

“Look, I’m not having this discussion with you. I’m not—”

“You’re just going to run away? Again? Like you always do?”

“When did I ever run away?”

She shrugs, then leans back against the wall. I glance down the hallway, but Alexander is gone. Slipped into a room or another hallway while I wasn’t looking. “You left Colorado for California when you were eighteen.”

“I went to Stanford. That’s not running away.”

“And you didn’t come back for law school,” she continues, like she didn’t hear me.

“Because UCLA is a great fucking school.”

“And Ixion was there.”

“So?”

“So you loved him, and you followed him, and then…” She gives me a small, weak smile. “And then you met me. And it was all set for you, wasn’t it, Jordan?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Him. And me. And Alexander. And you. You,” she says, “are a deviant. And you never wanted to admit it. So you just followed him. The boy you fell in love with as a young man.”

“I don’t fucking love him that way.”

“Not anymore,” Augustine says. “But that’s only because you’re not his type. That woman he loves now? Evangeline? She’s his type. He’s never going to share her with you.”

I want to yell at her. Tell her to shut up. Fucking wrap my hands around her neck and choke her into silence.

“And you always knew that. He was never into you that way. Oh, he loved you, but not the way you loved him. That’s why Ixion saved your ass, then walked away and never looked back.”

“In case you didn’t notice, that’s what I did as well.”

“No,” she says. “You got stuck in the past. You want something you never had, Jordan. Him. That’s the only explanation for why you’re being so difficult about this offer we’re making you.”

“You want me to moderate your husband’s dark side, Augustine. That’s it.”

“That’s it?” she says. “And you know this how? Because you asked us what we wanted and we told you? Or because you’re making it up as you pine for this fantasy club? This place didn’t make you happy. The people you shared it with made you happy.”

“Yeah,” I say. “That’s true. And you two weren’t there.”

“No. We came first.”

She and I stare at each other for a few seconds.

“Hey,” Alexander says, peeking his head out of one of the scene rooms. “Come down here.”

“Fuck that, I’m leaving.”

“Fuck you, Jordan,” Augustine spits. “Fuck you if you walk out again!”

I step back, stunned by her sudden venom and anger.

“We’re tired of this shit. We came here in good faith to try to get you back—”

“You came here so I could help you—”

“Just fucking listen to me!” She screams it. “Just shut your fucking mouth and listen to me for once! Can’t you see what’s happening? How can you be so clueless?”