Page 62 of Play Dirty

“Right,” I whisper.

“You’re dangerous people too, so don’t worry about that.”

I wonder how much he knows about me? How unbalanced is this relationship?

“We’re here to figure this out and we need you to do it.” His English is perfect again.

Fucking. Weird.

“So what do ya say? You in?”

“I mean… I said I was. I don’t know why you guys keep asking me this. I want the building so I’m game, OK? I have no objections to what we’re doing.”

“Do you love her?” he asks.

“No,” I say. And it surprises me even more than it surprises him. Because it’s true. “No,” I say again. “I don’t love her. I don’t know what I feel about her, but I don’t love her. I mean, I care about her. Of course.” I let out an uncomfortable laugh. “I care about her. I want her to be happy. Whatever that looks like.” And then I shrug. I don’t know what else to do. What else to say.

“Sounds a lot like love to me,” he says.

“I guess. I dunno. OK, look, I’ll be straight with you. It feels like we’ve maybe… turned a corner here. Right?”

He nods. Tacitly agreeing.

“So…” I sigh. Trying to put these feelings into words. “Yeah.”

He smiles, then huffs out a little laugh.

“I mean… OK. I like it. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to admit that, but it is. I thought we were over and turns out… we’re not. So… I’m just… a little bit… surprised about that, I guess.”

“We like it too. And yeah, we’re just as surprised as you are.”

“You are? But… you came here for me, right?” I get this sick feeling in my stomach when he hesitates. This sick, sick feeling that I’m missing something here. Something very important and life changing.

“We did,” he says. And even though that’s the right answer, that feeling doesn’t go away.

“Don’t fuck with me, Alex. OK? Please? If you want revenge or whatever, fine. Get it however you need to get it. But just… don’t lie about this part.”

He stares at me for a few moments. Like there’s a million things running through his mind. Like he’s wondering... should I keep lying? Or should I come clean?

“Feelings don’t lie, Jordan. So, no we’re not lying. It’s just… nice, I think. It’s nice.”

“Which part?”

He shrugs. “All of you. I mean, you were kinda hostile last week.”

“So were you.”

“Fair. But it does feel like we’ve turned a corner. I agree. The dynamic started out a bit… muddled. As was the objective.”

“Because you guys are making that part up, aren’t you?”

“It’s clear now,” he says. Not really answering my question. “It’s clear you still love her.”

“I’m not in this to steal her, OK?”

“You can’t steal her, Jordan. She’s not a thing.”

“I get that,” I say, irritated. “I’m not insinuating she is. I’m just saying… if you guys don’t make it, don’t blame me. It’s not me. I don’t want her. I don’t want you. I need that fucking building and you two just happen to have it.”