Page 37 of Play Dirty

“She wants you to come to dinner,” Alexander repeats.

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose, sighing. Why can’t they just go away? Why can’t they just leave me alone?

“It’s just so much bullshit,” I say. Eyes still closed.

“What is?” Alexander asks.

“You two,” I say, opening my eyes back up to look him in the eyes. “Both of you. You’re more trouble than you’re worth right now. I’ve got… I’ve got things on my mind.”

“What things?”

“Things that are none of your goddamned business.”

He leans back in the chair, places one foot on the opposite knee like he’s settling in for a long conversation, and says, “She wants you to come to dinner.”

“No,” I say. “I’m not coming. I left this shit behind me years ago. I’m sorry I made such a mess of things when I left LA. I’m sorry for lying. I’m sorry for setting Ixion up like that. I’m sorry for hurting her, and you… and me, to be quite honest. I was young, and selfish, and stupid, and I’m not that guy anymore. You two bring out the worst in me. You two… you two make me someone else. Some guy I don’t really like, Alexander. I’m done with the games, OK? I don’t want to play. I don’t even want your building. I don’t know what I want, but I know what I don’t want. And I don’t want… that.” I shake my head. “I can’t deal with it right now.” I didn’t expect to say that about the building. And as it was coming out of my mouth I knew it was a lie. But now it’s not anymore. It’s not a lie. It’s true. So I repeat it. “I don’t want it.”

He stares at me for a long moment. Like he’s giving my little speech all his thoughtful consideration.

Such an actor.

I stand up, shuffling papers on my desk, pick them up and tap them on the table top to force them into a neat stack, then place them back on the desk. “I’ve gotta go. I have court,” I lie.

I lie a lot, I realize. Pretty much all the time about everything.

He stands as I come around the desk to make my escape. But his arm extends as I try to move past him and then he’s pulling me close to him. One hand slips inside my suit coat and wraps around my waist. Grips me. While the other is on my shoulder. I turn my head in his direction, startled. “What—”

And then he kisses me. Like a real kiss. His mouth is soft, and I can feel the stubble on his jaw rub against the stubble on mine. I hesitate for a moment, startled, unsure, and fully aware that my office door is wide open.

The hand that was inside my suit drops to the waist of my pants, tugs my belt for just a moment, then slips down to find my cock semi-hard.

I feel his mouth form a smile against my lips.

And then I kiss him back.

The second I do that he pulls away. Releases me and takes two steps back. “She wants you to come to dinner tonight.”

And then he tugs on his suit coat, buttons it, turns around, and walks out.

I don’t go to lunch and I don’t have court today, so after Alexander leaves I have Eileen order me a sandwich from a place down the street, then sit in my office alone and just stare at it.

I think about his kiss. His offer. What it means. How much I want them to go away right now and just leave me alone.

But I also think about how much fun we had back in LA. Before I got jealous, and weird, and fucked it all up.

Are they here to get even? Or are they really here to start something new?

I’m having a hard time seeing things clearly. It surprises me because I’m so detached when I deal with people who play the game. But then again, I’m not surprised at all because this isn’t my game.

I think that’s the problem.

I’m not running any of this. I don’t have Darrel and Finn running interference. They’re not keeping tabs on shit, making sure it goes off without a hitch. I’m personally involved with the outcome.

That is definitely my problem.

At three o’clock my father returns to the office. He’s smiling and his gregarious laughter fills the reception area. I can hear it all the way back in my office.

I track his voice as he makes his way down the hall towards me. Imagine him stopping to place a hand on someone’s shoulder as he answers questions people ask him.