Page 52 of The Boyfriend Experience

Lawton reaches for me, pulls me into his chest and says, “We’ll fix it. I promise, we will. Just please stop crying.” It takes me a while, but he’s patient as I let myself run out of tears. And then in the ensuing silence he says, “So where do you keep them? Your recipes?”

“My office. On my hard drive, mostly. But the older ones, like Bucked Up and Mountain Mud, those ones are all in my dad’s old files. I don’t even think that cabinet is locked!”

“Don’t beat yourself up. You’re just… too trusting, Oaklee. Ruthless people like Hanna see you as a target and then take advantage of you.”

“That makes me sound even weaker!” I huff.

“No, it makes you… sweet.”

“Fuckin’ sweet! I handed her everything! I didn’t even put up a fight! I let her cheat off me in college, and take away boys I liked, and now I’ve handed her my business! She’s probably got every old recipe we have and she’s going to release a new one every year until she takes over every Bronco Brews tap in Denver!”

He opens his mouth to say something in response, but then he doesn’t. Because he knows I’m right. Hanna Harlow is a sneaky cunt who will run me over then back her truck up to do it again.

“I need a way to get to her, Lawton. You need to get her to trust you.”

“She hates me, I can already tell. She didn’t even look at me yesterday. Didn’t say one word to me at all.”

“That’s because you weren’t really dressed up like her kind of guy, ya know? I don’t think she really believed we were together. But now you have the boots and the jacket—”

“Boots and a jacket!” He laughs. “That’s not going to make her change her mind about me.”

He’s right. It’s not enough. I need something better. Something more.

“Hey,” he says. “You hungry? Because that bagel wasn’t enough for me.”

“I am not hungry,” I say. “I might never eat again, that’s how not hungry I am.”

“Come on,” he says, pushing me off him and standing up. “I’m gonna take you somewhere fun. And believe me, once you get there, you’ll eat.”

Somewhere fun turns out to be Funsville. And even though I want to pretend this wasn’t a great idea, I can’t help but smile as we walk through the doors.

It’s a bar. It’s a restaurant. It’s an Eighties arcade.

Funsville is a place you can’t not have fun at.

“Hey, Larry,” I call out to the owner as we pass by the bar. I do a quick check to make sure Bucked Up is still on tap here. If Hanna Harlow got to Larry, I’m in some serious trouble.

It is, so I sigh with relief.

“Jesus, do you know everyone in Denver?” Law asks.

“That’s Larry. He and my dad are—were—old friends. I used to come here all the time when I was a kid, but it’s been a while.”

Larry comes over to us as we buy tokens and tickets at the machine and says, “Oaklee!” as he wraps his arms around me and gives me a great big bear hug. “You haven’t been here in years!”

“I know. So busy these days. This is…” And then I stop, wondering what Lawton is to me. But I say, “My boyfriend, Lawton Ayers.” Because he is my boyfriend. I’ve even got it in writing. For two whole weeks I have someone to count on. And it feels nice, so I’m gonna make the most of it.

Law and Larry chat as I take my tokens over to the skeet ball area and start throwing. Seeing Larry makes me sad because it reminds me of all the great times I had in here with my dad as a kid. And that’s why I don’t come around. I don’t like to think about that.

And it seems like I’ve been thinking about the past a lot these last two days. Ever since Law started playing this game with me.

But I watch them as they talk. Every now and again they laugh too. Like they are old friends. And as I’m watching I imagine that’s how it would be if Lawton ever met my father. Because Larry and my father are—were—a lot alike.

They both have full sleeves on their arms. My dad’s tattoos were mostly Wild West things. But Larry’s are all old carnival things. A beaded woman. A fat man. Lions, and zebras, and a ringmaster on his back. I know that because we used to go up to Grand Lake with Larry to fish every summer and he’d take his shirt off.

In fact, now that Law is in the middle of his Oaklee’s boyfriend morph, they look a lot alike too.

They’re both wearing white t-shirts. They’re both wearing biker boots. They’re both wearing faded, ripped jeans.