Page 1 of The Boyfriend Experience

CHAPTER ONE - JORDAN

Lawton Ayers is dressed for success. He’s got the suit, the tie, the watch, the shoes, the haircut, the cufflinks, and the pair of designer shades. We’re sitting outside today. It’s officially spring, so the Tea Room owner, Chella Baldwin, has outdoor seating. It’s really just a small area separated from the sidewalk by yellow velvet ropes hanging off black poles, and there are only half a dozen tables, but it’s nice. Really fuckin’ nice.

“So what do you think I should do?” Law asks.

“About?”

“The fucking TV show I’ve been telling you about for the last ten minutes!”

“I mean, what do you want me to say, Law? It’s pretty much in the bag, if you ask me. You’re what TV people look for, right? Young, good-looking, professional, wealthy.”

“Yeah, but there are a lot of guys who fit that demographic.”

I side-eye him for using the word ‘demographic’ to describe himself. He’s way too focused on all the wrong things if you ask me. “Just be you, man. You’re a fucking salesman. And you’re not even selling them a house. You’re selling them you selling other people houses.”

He stares at me for a second. Tilts his head a little. “Home TV made a name for itself by selling people, so you’re right there.”

“Exactly,” I say. “Nothing to worry about.”

“But,” he continues, “all those other shows have couples, ya know? Like, teams. I don’t have a team. I just have me.”

“You’ve got a team. Get your partner in on it. They’d love Zack. That guy is fucking hilarious. People would tune in just to watch him talk shit to you.”

“No,” he says. “Zack said no way was he going on TV. Says just thinking about it makes him itch. He’s flat-out refused to be a part of it. Which is why I had to start a whole new company. Rocky Mountain Millionaires. That’s what I’m calling the show, too. I need…”

He hesitates.

“What? You need what?”

“I need,” he says, leaning across the table like he doesn’t want anyone to hear him, “I need an edge. I need these Home TV people to see me as one of them. I need… a girlfriend.”

I sit back in my chair, smiling.

“It’s not fucking funny,” he says.

“I said nothing.”

“You’re thinking it. You’re thinking, Oh, the great Lawton Ayers has finally come to his senses. He needs a girlfriend. And how many times have you tried to fix me up—”

“And you said no,” I finish for him.

“And now he’s here, begging me for help.”

I hold my hands out, like… I called it. “So you want me to find you a girlfriend?”

“A pretend one,” he adds quickly. “A prop. For appearances only. Someone who could show up for this pitch next week and wow them.”

“A looker?”

“Yup. She’s gotta be pretty.”

“A businesswoman?” I add.

“That would be helpful. One in real estate would be perfect, except—”

“Except you’ve already done the dirty and disappeared afterward with all those ladies.”

He sighs. “I’ve asked everyone. Every girl I know in the business.”