Page 77 of The Pleasure of Panic

And when her chest is empty of every molecule of oxygen, I grab her hair, right up next to the scalp, and I pull her head back. Slowly. So slowly. And let her breathe in. I let her take what I’m offering, forcing her head and back to arch as I knee her legs open and position my cock right between her ass cheeks, just the way I imagined it. And when we’re eye to eye… soul to soul… only then do I lunge my cock deep into her pussy.

She’s propping her upper body up with her hands flat on the mattress. And I’m riding her ass. My groin pounding her, my balls slapping against her skin.

She repositions her knees, so she’s up off the bed a little, giving me more room to fuck her. And just as she starts begging, “More. Harder. Harder still!” I slow.

I still.

This time her begging cuts off. Because she only feels what I want her to feel and I want her to feel me. I’m not just a man behind her. I’m not just another guy trying to make her fantasy come true.

I’m Finn Murphy and I want her to know… this is what I can give her. Me and only me.

“Open your eyes,” I growl. Her pussy feels so tight. So wet. So perfect I want to come right now. But I don’t. Because I’m not done with her yet. She tries to obey my request, but can’t quite do it. I’m easing in and out of her so slowly now, she’s whimpering. “Open. Your. Eyes.” I say it again.

This time she does it. And in the same moment, I release her hair and wrap my hand around the front of her throat. Not choking her. Not even squeezing. Just holding her in position.

But it’s enough.

She whispers, “Please.”

And that’s as far as she gets, because just as her request escapes her lips, I thrust forward so hard, she exhales again.

Empties herself for me so I can fill her up.

“Come inside me,” she says.

I thought she’d never ask.

I lean down so my chest is pressing right up against her back, reach underneath her belly so my fingers can find her clit, and strum her. Back and forth so fast, she begins to wail. Begins to beg. Begins to yell, “Yes! Oh, God, yes!”

She clamps down on my cock, gushing on my dick and coating it with her sweet release. Her whole body goes rigid as she gasps, sucking in air like she’s desperate for it, her throat constricting underneath the grip of my hand.

And when she empties herself of breath this one… last… time…

I spill into her.

My mouth is on her ear, kissing it before I lose control and drop my lips to the fleshy part of her shoulder so I can nip her skin and make her whimper.

Sweat breaks out on my stomach, making our bodies slick from the sex. I grab her tight around the waist and roll over, taking her with me.

We suck all the breaths now. Greedily. No longer cherishing the deprivation of life-giving air. Her chest rises with mine as I hug her close and hook my leg around hers, caging her in so she can’t even think about that escape plan she’s been cooking up all day.

“You’re not going anywhere,” I growl into her ear.

She smiles. I can’t see her smile, but I know she smiles. She wants me to keep her prisoner here with me forever. I know it.

“Because you’re my bodyguard.”

“Yeah.” I laugh. But then I shake my head. “No. Because hours to us are like years for others. And we’ve spent a lifetime together since we met last night.”

She exhales again. “Finn,” she whispers.

“No,” I say. “No. I’m not gonna let you run. I’m not gonna let you. People love you, Issy. You know things and you share those things with them. Those women need you and an online course is a good start for a lot of them, but they need more than that. They need to see you. Feel you. Hear you. Know you. And I need all that too.”

She squirms in my strong embrace. I don’t want to give in and let her go. Not even to just change position. But I do. Because she’s asking, and right now I want to give her everything she asks for.

When she’s done squirming we’re face to face, her eyes on me, my eyes on her, mirrored smiles in the fading, hazy light of sunset filtering in through the floor-to-ceiling windows.

“You don’t know me,” she says.