Page 69 of Wasted Lust

“So fucking transparent.” And then he laughs and so do I. “I had you pegged as a sappy romantic from the first second I saw you. And you know what?”

I smile at his laugh. “What?”

“I knew back then that you believed in that promise. I knew you were the only person on this whole fucking planet who would go the end of the earth to save me.”

Oh, God. I bite those tears back again. “I would,” I squeak out. “And I did my best, Nick. I really did.”

He puts his arm around me and pulls me close. He smells different now. I used to think he smelled like the beach, but now he smells like the cold. “I know you did.” And then he laughs again. “You’re fucking spectacular, you know that?” He turns his head and his hand slips behind my neck to pull me closer to him. He’s about to kiss me, but I turn away. “Sorry,” he whispers. “I can’t help myself.”

I rest my head on his shoulder and lean in. God, how many years have I wished for this moment? How many ways did I imagine him as he professed his love to me? And now I don’t want it.

“Are you in love with him?”

I know he’s talking about Jax. I’m not sure how Nick knows we’ve been seeing each other, but I know that’s who he’s talking about. “I’m not sure what love is.”

“You like him, though?”

“I do. He’s so nice. He’s one of those guys who holds doors for old ladies. And every time I find myself stuck in the rain, he’s got an umbrella over my head.”

“You deserve nice.”

“Do you know him?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you kill his little brother?”

“Yeah.”

“Was it an order?”

“It was.” And then he hugs me harder. “But it’s no excuse.”

“I killed people too, Nick. We didn’t have a choice. We had to back then.”

“I still have to now, Sasha.”

I let out a long sigh. “I know. But you’re not gonna kill Jax, right?”

“No. He’s not on my list.”

My back stiffens at the mention of a list.

“Don’t ask me if you’re on the list, Sash. Because if you do, my heart will break completely in half.”

I want to hug him so hard right now. I know the pain and desperation I feel inside myself, and when I’m close to him like this, I think I can feel his too. We are promised. No matter how it turned out, we are promised. Nick may not be my soulmate, but he’s part of my soul. “I know you’d never hurt me.”

“I hurt you so bad back then. I hurt you so bad I wanted to cry when I watched you disappear on that boat.”

I want to cry right now just picturing him fading into the foggy night. But once I start, I will never stop. I can’t let this be the night I fall to pieces. I’m not ready yet. “I went to the hotel room and waited for you. I waited until those two weeks you paid for were up and James made me leave.”

“I figured you would. That’s just the kind of girl you are. Loyal to the end.”

We sit in silence for a few minutes after that.

“So,” he says after the quiet goes on too long. “What did you think of your aunt?”

“You know I went to see her?”