Page 51 of Wasted Lust

“It didn’t sink in.” She sits up a little and turns her head so she can look me in the face. “I heard the words coming out of James’ mouth, but it didn’t sink in. It took so many years for that concept to become reality for me.”

I nod slowly as I study her face. She is so pretty. And she doesn’t need makeup to be that way, either. Her skin is fair, with just a hint of color in her cheeks. Her eyes are a deep blue. Like I’m looking at the sky when thunderstorms are approaching. “She’s too Company for you.”

Sasha nods, instinctively knowing I switched the conversation back to Madeline. “Families don’t organize. Companies organize. Governments organize. Madeline is Company, even if she’s not.”

“I get it.” And I do. I can’t blame this girl for her first impression. She’s far more worldly than she seems.

“And…” Her words trail off and I wait a few seconds to see if she will pick her thought back up.

“And?” I finally ask.

“I have a lot of things hidden in my head, Jax. I’d like to tell you about them all, I really would. You have no idea how bad I want to be unburdened. I want to spill every secret I ever had. But…”

“But you don’t trust me yet.”

“Right. I’d be very stupid to trust you. You took me to that woman. You’ve been kinda pressuring me to join the FBI and help you hunt down Nick. And even though I have no idea how I feel about Nick these days, I do know I’m not ready to turn him in.”

“Fair enough. You’ve more than lived up to your end of the bargain today. So I think I owe you. I’d like to show you, though. So can you be patient?”

“Sure.” It comes out with a long breath of air. Like she’s exhausted.

“You should sleep. I’ll wake you when we get to the airport.”

I get silence again, but a few minutes later she’s breathing heavy as she begins to drift off. And I have to hand it to her. She says she doesn’t trust me, but if falling asleep cuddled up to my arm is not trust, what must it feel like to have her completely?

Nick is an idiot.

But I can’t fault him for it. If he had realized Sasha’s true worth—aside from killing and secret information—she’d still be his. She’d probably be dead because of it too.

My hatred for him dims a little. I will never like that man. Ever. But he left Sasha for a reason, I think. He left her because she was too good for him. She was pure and he was corrupt. I have a feeling that leaving her behind was as purposeful a move as any of the others he’s made throughout the years.

But why?

Does he love her? Is she the missing woman? She can’t be. Sasha freely admits she has not heard from or talked to him in a decade and I believe her.

So who is the woman who lured him back to the States six years ago? Sasha would’ve been just graduating high school. Her passport shows she was in New Zealand with her family that summer after graduation. So if he didn’t come to see her, then who?

This mystery has plagued me for years. Why does one of the FBI’s most wanted criminals leave Central America and come back to the US when he’s got a powerful position in a Honduran gang to protect him at home?

Why risk it?

For the job?

No. It can’t be that simple. Nothing about this guy is simple.

Did he lie to Sasha? Was he really her promise? Because Julian has said some interesting things over the years about his lost promise. It’s convenient that Sasha’s father and Nick’s, the only two men who could substantiate the claim he made, are both dead.

I ponder this until we reach the airport. And by that time, Sasha is sleeping so deeply, she doesn’t even wake up when I pick her up in my arms and walk her up the stairs. I take her to the back of the plane and place her on the bed. “Sasha,” I whisper softly in her ear.

“Hmmm?” she moans back.

“Let’s take off your coat.”

“Mmmm.” She moves just enough for me to get her coat off, and then she turns over and falls back asleep with her hands bunching the pillow up to her face.

I stand there and smile down at her. Just smile. She’s so fucking adorable. And I’m starting to regret that rash decision to have sex with her in the car. You only get one first time. This one was pretty good as far as first times go. But still… I should’ve waited. Made it more romantic and less primal.

I lean down and kiss her on the head and then I walk out, leaving the lights off so she can get some rest. I go all the way up front to the business end of the plane and take a seat at the table.