Page 9 of Meant for Mayhem

My heart ached for her, but she stopped crying the second she settled against his chest.

I could see Mikko’s mouth moving, but the wind was carrying his voice in the opposite direction. When she squirmed again, he pulled the dark blue baseball cap from his own head and settled it over her wispy blond hair to block the late afternoon sun from her eyes. The hat swallowed half her face, making her look impossibly small in his arms.

Now that I could see his face, Mikko looked exhausted.

Dark circles shadowed beneath pale blue eyes that used to carry a laid-back, cocky confidence. His blond hair was longer since the last time I’d seen him, and there was stubble lining his jaw too. I wish any of it made him less attractive, but the way he bounced on his toes, patting his daughter’s back was endearing. What was it about a big man with a little kid that made my ovaries power up?

Sure, eavesdropping was invading his privacy. Maybe even objectively wrong. But Mikko had shoved his way into my life last February, so I was a little entitled to do the same, right?

Eight months ago, my car died outside the Pilates studio in town, and Beckett had offered me a ride home after finding me one minor inconvenience away from a full mental breakdown. Two of his teammates I’d never met were with him, Mikko included.

It should’ve been a simple ride home.

Instead, it had ended with Mikko nearly putting his fist through my drunken father’s face.

Ever since that night, some traitorous part of me clung to him, like he’d carved himself into a space under my skin I couldn’t evict him from.

Then this summer, Mikko was here when our lives shifted again. One phone call. One stunned expression. One abrupt flight to Finland after Mikko announced to a very confused group of people that, apparently, he had a daughter.

Why we kept running into each other at these major turning points in our lives was beyond me, but I couldn’t look away. Couldn’t keep myself from wondering what other curveballs had led to Mikko standing in Beckett’s driveway with a toddler clinging to his chest while he looked exhausted enough to collapse.

His daughter cried again, and he turned her away from the sun even more. Unfortunately, that left me looking at his back, and now I couldn’t even read his lips.

Fuck it, curiosity outranked morals by a landslide.

I pulled the door open further, sneaking out onto the front porch. Luckily for me, the evergreen shrubs along the front of the house mostly hid me but didn’t block the sound of their conversation. I crouched down low, with only the top of my head showing above the hedge, but still able to hear them crystal clear.

“I can’t do this, Beckett,” Mikko said, his voice sounding wrecked. “Not like this.”

White hot rage flared through me, so potent it barely felt rational. My fingernails dug into the wooden railing, trying and failing to ground myself in this moment. But how could I, when the this he was talking about wasn’t a thing he could walk away from?

It was a child.

Of all the despicable things a person could do, walking away from a child was number one in my book. Maybe that was my trauma talking, but life had taught me that people were selfish to their core. As much as I hated being wrong, I detested being right.

He didn’t ask for a kid. Didn’t even know he had one until a few months ago.

But knowing this little girl’s mom had walked away from her was one thing. Deciding he could do it too?

Hell. No.

“You’re not making sense, Mikko. Tell me what happened,” Beckett said, but I barely heard him through the anger pulsing inside me.

I was about to storm down the porch steps, ready to give both men a piece of my mind, when Mikko’s hat slid to the ground and little grey-blue eyes caught mine. I froze, my heart hammering as her gaze locked with mine. She didn’t lift her head from Mikko’s shoulder, her fists still clenched in the fabric of his shirt, but she watched me with quiet curiosity.

“I made a mistake.” Mikko’s voice faded into the distance as I took in the cutest toddler I’d ever seen. “I don’t even know why I said yes.”

“Tell me what happened,” Beckett repeated, doing his best to calm his friend. “I can’t help you if I don’t understand what’s going on.”

Mikko paced in the driveway, his big hand rubbing over his daughter’s back, but her attention stayed locked on me. I took in every freckle dotting her little nose, every curl at the tips of her pale blonde hair. She looked like the most innocent angel, and she deserved absolutely none of this.

I waved my fingers, letting her know I saw her too. The men kept talking, but I focused on her, making sure she felt my attention. Knew I saw her as the true gift she was.

When Mikko changed directions, she moved her head so she could still see me, and I grinned at her, then ducked beneath the shrub, hiding my face. I could still see her through the leaves, and she lifted her head, focused on where I was. When I peeked above the hedges in a game of hide and seek, she flashed a toothy grin.

The third time I repeated the move, a delighted shriek pierced the air, and she clapped her hands together. I laughed with her, the anger from moments ago evaporating into thin air. Right until Mikko stopped pacing and looked up at what held his daughter’s attention, catching me crouching on the front porch.

I had approximately two seconds to decide between playing it cool or making a run for it.