Page 173 of The Royal Art of Revenge

All the negativity that’s pulsed through my veins for twenty years finally has an outlet. The emotions that have held me together, that have fuelled me, that have kept me pushing past the trauma and looking to the future finally have a safe space to dissipate into.

Finn.

His arms.

His palace.

My home.

He says nothing apart from hushed whispers that it’s okay, he’s got me, I’m fine, it’s all right. I can’t speak. My throat is too swollen, and even if it weren’t, I’m not sure my brain could string any words together anyway.

All I know is that nothing has felt as therapeutic as this cry. It truly is as if the floodgates have opened, as if I’m both accepting and addressing everything that happened to me. Hearing him validate my lack of actions is something I didn’t know I needed.

Still, I think I’ll always carry that guilt. I’ll never truly accept that I did all I could. Survivor’s guilt is a very real thing, and I will forever wonder, “what if?”

That’s my burden to bear. Not everything can be healed, and the eyes and cries of the children who passed through Sayana’s house are memories that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

By the time my tears slow, we’re no longer sitting. We’re lying back on the bed with my head on Finn’s chest and his arms wrapped around me. He drags his fingertip across my back, tracing lazy circles across the fabric.

“Thank you,” I whisper. “For listening.”

He kisses my hair. “Thank you for telling me. I know that wasn’t easy for you.”

I shake my head and press my face into his chest. It wasn’t. It was by far the most difficult conversation I’ve had, and I didn’t even cover the half of it. He still doesn’t know the worst of it, and honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever tell him truly everything.

He doesn’t need to know everything.

Perhaps not even I know everything anymore.

“Finn?”

“Yeah, baby?”

I grip his t-shirt in my fist. “I love you, too.”

I feel his smile before the tightening of his arms.

“I love you,” he murmurs, pressing another kiss to the top of my head. “And we’ll get through this, Hattie. I promise you. I won’t let anybody take your home away from you again.”

I squeeze my eyes shut tightly.

I want to believe him.

I just don’t know if I can.

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE – HATTIE

“I’m going to kill them,” Valentina says, kicking a stool out of her path. She’s been pacing the same trail back and forth for God only knows how long in an attempt to quell her rage.

It isn’t working.

In fact, I think it might just be amping it up.

“For the love of God, Deveraux,” Alec says, turning from his position by the window. “If you put a hole in that rug, Her Majesty will have your head.”

“Shut up, Kilon,” she retorts, making my eyebrows shoot up. “What would you rather I do? Sit and stew quietly while my best friend is being set up by some piece of shit?”

“Yes.”