Page 81 of Redline Baby

That makes me cry harder.

"I know." My forehead drops. "I know now."

Soren waits until I can breathe again. Then: "Do you understand why the rule exists?"

"Because I keep treating the road like nothing can happen to me."

"Yes."

"And because if I want to push, I have the track."

"Yes."

"And because you don't want me trying to scare myself into feeling something."

His hand stills.

"Exactly."

I sniff. Pathetic. Wet. Small.

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are, baby boy." His voice is gentle now. No edge left in it. "That's enough." My entire body goes limp from the words. Enough. He sets the brush aside. Then he says the thing I didn't realize I needed until I hear it. "The consequence is over." I close my eyes. "You're not in trouble anymore."

Oh. Something deep inside me gives way. Completely. Soren helps my clothes back into place before he moves me. Then he gets me upright. My legs feel unreliable. My face ends up against his chest almost immediately. One of his arms wraps around my back. The other hand comes to the base of my skull.

"There you are."

I grip his shirt. My breathing is still uneven.

"I'm sorry."

"We already did that part."

I let out a wet little laugh. "Right."

"No repeating the punishment in your own head for the next six hours."

"That's a rule?"

"It may become one."

I laugh again. Soren kisses the top of my head.

"You did well."

My fingers tighten in his shirt.

"Even though I broke the rule?"

"You did well taking responsibility for it."

Oh.

"You told me the truth. You checked in honestly. You remembered your safewords." His fingers move through my hair. "And you accepted the consequence you asked me to give you." My throat tightens. "Good boy.”

There it is. My entire body softens against him. He keeps holding me until my breathing settles. No coldness. No distance. No question hanging in the room about whether I've disappointed him beyond repair.