Page 136 of Redline Baby

The throttle eases closed by degrees.

The engine note drops.

Wind becomes wind again instead of violence. My fingers loosen around the grips. I can feel how badly my hands are shaking now. There’s a gravel turnout ahead. I extend my left arm low and point toward it. I don’t check whether Soren sees. He sees everything.

I roll off the road carefully, tires crunching over gravel until Vera slows beneath me and settles to a stop.

I kill the ignition. Silence lands hard. Behind me comes another crunch of tires over gravel. Slower than mine.

Soren rolls in and stops ten feet back. I pull off my helmet with both hands. Cold air hits my face. My hair is damp with sweat. I set the helmet carefully on the tank because my hands aren’t steady enough to trust anywhere else.

Soren dismounts. Sets his helmet on his seat. He doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t storm toward me. Doesn’t demand an explanation. He stands there with his hands at his sides and waits. I stare at the road.

My eyes burn.

“I…” Nothing. My throat closes around the word. I try again. “The bike is done.” My voice breaks on done. Not a little. It splits straight through the middle. And then I do too. I break down entirely.

Soren reaches me before my knees figure out whether they’re going to keep working. He pulls me against his chest and holds me. That’s all. His arms around me. My helmet forgotten.

Vera ticking softly as the engine cools behind us.

I cry into his jacket hard enough that breathing becomes difficult again, but this time his hand is in my hair and his chest is solid beneath my cheek.

“You don’t have any reason to keep me around anymore.”

The words tear out of me.

“The work’s finished. The Yamaha is finished. You don’t need me here. You can leave. You can leave whenever you want.”

His arms tighten.

“I’m a mess. Look at me.” I’m crying too hard to get the sentences out properly. “A depressed, fucked-up mess. And I know how this goes. I’ve watched it happen before.”

I don’t have to say the name. It lands between us anyway.

“Oh, baby.” Soren’s hand cups the back of my head. “My love.” I press my face harder against his chest.

“You had to help Rue,” I whisper.

“I did.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong by going.”

“No.”

His hand moves slowly through my hair.

“But I meant what I told you afterward. I should have woken you properly. I should have checked in once Rue was stable. I handled that part badly, and I’m sorry it hurt you.”

My hands tighten in his jacket. Then his voice changes slightly. Still gentle.

“But listen to me.”

I try.

“The Yamaha being finished has nothing to do with whether I want you.”

I close my eyes.