Page 98 of Deck the Hauls

“Sure. I can slip out, give you some privacy if you’re happy to call in here.” Rebecca stood.

“I might run to the restroom—unless you’d prefer me to stay?” Dana said.

“No, go. I’ll be fine, thank you.”

As Dana left, I dialed Brittany’s number—yet another difficult conversation I was not looking forward to.

“Emily, how are you?” Brittany’s voice was jarringly upbeat.

“Um, okay. Do you have a few minutes? I was hoping to talk to you about something.”

“Yep, sure. How can I help?”

I winced. “So, I’ve decided to speak out against Phillip. I just had my interview with the newspaper reporter, and she was wondering if you’d be willing to corroborate the fact that I told you about what happened at the time.”

There was silence on the other end of the line for a few moments.

Brittany cleared her throat. “I’m sorry, Emily. I don’t feel comfortable being involved in this. If Phillip found out I’d helped, my agenting career as well as my other clients’ careers could all be affected. I’m afraid I can’t risk that.”

A heaviness sank into my stomach. Would that impact the credibility of the story at all?

“That’s okay. I understand.” I stood up and glanced out small glass window. Dana must still be in the restroom. God, I wanted to hug her when she came back.

Actually…while I had Brittany on the phone, maybe I should get her take on coming out? It had been on my mind more and more.

“There’s one other thing I was hoping to get your thoughts on.” I exhaled. Why was everything so hard right now? “Confidentially, I’m pan. And I’ve been sort of dating a woman recently, but keeping it under wraps. Phillip has been threatening to dig up dirt on me and may have private investigators following me, so I wanted to get your thoughts on whether it would likely impact my career if people found out?”

I tensed, waiting for her response.

“To be honest, yes it probably would. I’m sorry to say that, Emily. I know it’s not fair, but Hollywood has an issue with casting LGBTQ actors. It might affect your chances for mainstream films. But other opportunities, like independent films, might still come along. If you really want to aim for big roles, then I would recommend waiting a couple of years until coming out publicly, when you’ve really established yourself. But it’s ultimately up to you, of course. You need to decide what’s most important: your personal life, or your career.”

I clenched my jaw. What was I going to do?

I peered back into the small window. Dana was walking back down the hall.

“Thanks, Brittany. I’ll think about it. I’m sorry, I’ve got to go.”

I hung up just as Dana poked her head into the room. Tears welled again in my eyes.

“Are you all done?”

I nodded. Dana opened the door, and Rebecca walked back in.

“How did the call go?” Rebecca asked.

“Unfortunately she’s not willing to go on the record. She’s worried about the repercussions for herself and her clients. Will that impact the story?”

Rebecca pressed her lips together. “That’s a shame. We can still go ahead, but if she changes her mind, please let me know. Do you have any other questions?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”

“If you think of anything later, you can always call or message. As I said, I’ll run quotes past you before publication. And I’ll let you know before it’s published. But I might not be able to give you a lot of notice.”

Rebecca rose to her feet and walked to the door.

“By the way, I really loved the museum at the farm,” Rebecca said as we walked down the corridor of glass meeting rooms. “I did let our entertainment team know about it, and they may send someone out to do a write-up.”

“Oh really?” I managed a weak smile. “That’s terrific. Thank you.”