Page 9 of From LA to London, With Love

“I flew in just over two weeks ago. I’ll be fil—” Shit. I caught the words as they started coming out and turned them into a not-very-convincing cough. “Sorry, I was saying that I’ll be staying here for around four months. So far, I’m really enjoying the change of scenery. I don’t know why people always complain about London's weather. It’s been gorgeous, much nicer than LA when I left.” My body tensed, worried Sophie had picked up on my stumble, or would ask why I moved.

To my relief, she focused on the weather.

Sophie shook her head. “This won’t last for long, believe me. Based on a lifetime of experience, it’ll probably be freezing and torrential rain tomorrow, and you’ll be longing for the LA sunshine. Although, I don’t really know much about LA’s climate. In my head, it’s Baywatch weather—sunny and warm all year round, and everyone just lounges about in T-shirts and shorts or bikinis, sipping green smoothies. Is that right?”

I smiled. “Pretty much, although green smoothies are so passé these days. Perhaps a matcha iced tea or turmeric latte.” To be honest, I had no idea what was popular right now, but Jenny loved both those drinks, and she always seemed to be on the cutting edge of cool. I hadn’t been to a cafe in LA for a long time. Sunday brunch wasn’t so relaxing when you were being swarmed by fans.

A middle-aged woman, weeding her front yard, looked up as she heard our voices, and I quickly turned my head away from her, pretending a cat across the street had caught my interest. My fear of being recognized had increased exponentially now I was with Sophie. I wanted to hang on to my anonymity around her for as long as possible.

“Ah yes, you Americans and your delicious flavored lattes!” Sophie chuckled. “I lived in New York for a few years and developed a taste for pumpkin spice. I know they’re considered basic, but I unashamedly love them. Unfortunately, they are hard to find here, unless it’s Christmas.”

“Damn, that’s not what I want to hear, especially with fall coming soon.” I actually hated pumpkin spice lattes with a passion, but she clearly adored them, and I didn’t want to say anything that might dim the sparkle in her eyes.

We’d reached the Heath now and were walking on a dirt path surrounded by trees forming a canopy, letting dappled sunlight through. Invisible birds chirped overhead. I glanced at Sophie, wondering if she needed help pushing the stroller on the bumpy path, but the change in terrain hadn’t affected her pace at all. Without thinking, my eyes dropped to her chest. She wore a figure-hugging T-shirt that flattered her curves. Sophie started turning her head toward me.

Crap. I didn’t want to come across as some gross, lascivious guy checking her out. I quickly looked up at the trees, pretending to admire the verdant canopy.

“I think that’s a great tit,” Sophie said casually.

My stomach flipped, and heat spread across my cheeks. “I’m…I’m sorry?” Oh god. Had she noticed my eyes wander, and this was her way of calling me out? It was certainly a strange way of going about it, but maybe it was a British thing. I’d heard they had a dry sense of humor. Based on my brief glance, they were great…but “tit” singular made less sense. There were definitely two of them, and they both looked great to me. Two very nice, firm…

“The birds,” Sophie cut into my thoughts, pointing to the trees. “The Heath has heaps of amazing birds. Woodpeckers, tawny owls, kingfishers, falcons, blue tits, great tits, and so many more. My mum’s a bit bird-obsessed, but I can only recognize a few of them.”

“Oh, right.” I let out a deep breath. Thank god. “They sound lovely. I’ll have to keep an eye out for them.” I quickly changed the subject. “You mentioned you used to live in New York. How long did you live there for?”

“Five years. It feels like a lifetime ago now. So much has changed. I wanted to visit LA but never had enough, as you Americans call it, vacation. It’s just a bit far to fly for a weekend, and I always used up my vacation days coming back to London. And now, of course, traveling isn’t so easy.” Sophie looked down at Elliot. “I got him a passport pretty much as soon as he was born. I’d planned to be one of those cool parents who sling their baby in a carrier and head off to exotic locations on a whim. But the reality of traveling with a baby has sunk in, and it all seems overwhelming, especially as a single mum. For someone so small, he requires a lot of stuff—mountains of nappies and baby wipes, multiple changes of clothes, a pram and a cot, and now he’s on solids, food as well. So, I’m resigned to staying in London for now. LA, and all the other amazing destinations on my list, will just have to wait.” Sophie let out a sigh. “What about you? Are you planning to do any traveling while you’re here?”

So, she was single. My heart jumped. I’d suspected as much from our earlier conversation but was pleased, selfishly, to have confirmation there wasn’t a partner in the picture. Not that it mattered, I reminded myself. It’s not like I was looking for a relationship or anything. I was also impressed. Being a single parent was a big deal.

After I swore off relationships, I’d spent time slumped on the white couch, considering whether I would adopt one day. I’d always wanted kids. But my filming schedule wasn’t exactly baby-friendly, especially as a single parent. If I was going to be a father, I wanted to do it properly. I didn’t want to be like my biological dad.

Don’t start thinking about him now. That’s the last thing you need. I forced myself to focus back on our conversation, remembering she’d asked me a question.

“Because my—” I cut myself off. Not thinking, I’d almost told her that my filming schedule wouldn’t leave much time for traveling. Speaking to Sophie, I realized how much of my life was caught up with acting. Not mentioning it was a lot harder than I expected. I really needed to get some other interests outside of acting, working out, and cooking.

“I’m hoping to do a few weekend trips away,” I said, before focusing the conversation back on her. “I totally get how traveling by yourself with a baby would be daunting. I mean, I think most people find traveling solo a bit daunting—not having someone to share the experience with, good or bad. Adding a baby to the mix would definitely make it more stressful. It’s not like Elliot’s old enough to appreciate a stunning sunset or the best pizza you’ve ever had in your life, or help decipher the map if you get lost.”

Sophie laughed, looking at Elliot, who had fallen asleep on the bumpy path, with affection. “Yeah, he’d probably eat or vomit on the map, and then I’d be totally screwed!”

I couldn’t help sneaking glances at her as we walked through the Heath. She wasn’t tall, blond, and stick-thin, like many of the women I’d dated in the past, but that didn’t matter. I struggled to keep my eyes off her. And it wasn’t just her appearance drawing me in. She was confident, smart, and funny.

A gangly teenager walking an overweight black Labrador came toward us, staring at me for a moment too long. His eyes widened in recognition, and my chest tensed, thinking he was going to say something or pull out his camera. But to my relief, he gave me a knowing smile, which I returned, and kept walking. And Sophie, who was admiring the Labrador, missed our interaction completely.

Conversation flowed easily as we chatted about our wish lists of places to visit and funny travel stories. I kept almost blowing my cover, itching to tell her about the time I was chased down the Champs Elysees by a horde of American tourists when I visited Paris for the premiere of Muscle Man 3. Or, when I was in Berlin two summers ago for another publicity tour, getting stuck in a hotel elevator with two wealthy German women in their seventies who turned out to be die hard Muscle Man fans. They kept vigorously insisting I take off my shirt so I didn’t overheat.

Despite the stories I was holding back, I was envious of Sophie’s tales of backpacking around Europe and living in Madrid for six months. Until I’d landed the Muscle Man role, I hadn’t had enough cash to travel. Once I’d landed it, I was too famous to go backpacking and have the adventures she’d experienced. I needed to stay in hotels with security, not youth hostels with cheap alcohol and fellow travelers looking for a good time. And I’d thrown myself into acting with such intensity I didn’t have time for much else. Most of my travel consisted of brief publicity trips and going home to Chicago. It dawned on me I’d spent so much of my life pretending to be other people, I hadn’t properly lived my own. I filed that thought away for later, when I was back at the Castle alone. Now was not the time to have an existential crisis.

As we got closer to the top of Parliament Hill, Sophie’s pace slowed, and she started to tire, so I took over stroller-pushing duties. While I was sure Elliot would not have approved, he was still fast asleep and none the wiser.

At the top, beyond the grassy slope of Parliament Hill, stunning views of the London skyline greeted us.

“Wow!” I took a deep breath in and released it, feeling my whole body relax. It was so good to be out of LA. Nothing in London reminded me of Vanessa. I could start making new memories here, without being weighed down by old ones.

“That shining building with the dark top that looks like a…um…stretched egg is The Gherkin.” Sophie pointed to a phallic-looking building. “The pointy one over there is The Shard. And if you’re more into buildings of historic note, you can make out the dome of St Paul's Cathedral over there.” The view was breathtaking, but so was Sophie’s face in profile. I struggled to draw my gaze away from her to focus on the buildings she was describing.

Elliot started to murmur, interrupting Sophie, who glanced down at him. “Damn. We should probably head home now he’s waking up. He’s only happy sitting buckled into the pram for so long.”

Disappointment washed over me. For the second time in months—the first being that hour with Sophie yesterday—I’d forgotten my public humiliation and the breakup and felt like…myself again. I’d been so present in the moment, enjoying our conversation and the views of the Heath, the London skyline…and Sophie, there was no room for my worries to consume me.