Page 14 of From LA to London, With Love

“Of course not,” I said, noticing Erin was fidgeting nervously with her hands.

“So…I’m thinking about coming out to my parents. They’re pretty conservative, but recently, one of my brother’s friends came out, and they were totally chill about it, so I’m thinking I’m just gonna go for it. Are you out to your family?” Erin let out a shaky breath.

I put the boardgame on the shelf and turned to Erin, pleased she felt comfortable confiding in me but also concerned I’d say the wrong thing. I couldn’t remember reading anything in the induction materials about how to handle this type of situation.

“That’s a big step. I came out to my parents when I was about nineteen, when I had my first girlfriend. I was so nervous about telling them, even though I thought they’d be fine with it because they are both pretty liberal. And I was right—they were very accepting. I was really lucky. But it was still hard to tell them. It must be way more scary if you’re not sure how they are going to react.”

Erin’s brows furrowed. “Yeah, I’m pretty worried about it. But I don’t want to keep hiding this huge part of my life from them. I don’t want to lie to them all the time. And when I get a girlfriend, I want to be able to bring her home.” Her eyes welled with tears. “Do you think I’m doing the right thing telling them?”

My chest tightened seeing Erin’s obvious distress. Oh god. I wished I could say something to make everything better. But I knew that wasn’t possible. How her family responded was out of my control.

“Hmmm. I don’t think there’s any right or wrong way to go about it. Some people wait until they’re dating someone, others want to share the news as soon as they’ve worked it out themselves, and some people don’t want to come out at all. All of those approaches are totally valid, and unfortunately you won’t know how your parents will take the news until you tell them. I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful, but it’s such a personal decision.” I looked at Erin, grimacing sympathetically.

Erin sighed. “Yeah, I know you’re right. I just wish I knew how they were going to react.”

I remembered the induction materials had mentioned that a counselor was available one night a week at Pride House. “If you think it’d be helpful to speak to a counselor about it, we could ask Alex to set something up?”

“Yeah, maybe.”

Erin didn’t look too excited by the idea, so I left it alone.

“If you’d like to practice telling them with me, or if there is anything else I can do to help, just let me know.” I gave her my best reassuring smile.

“Thanks.” Erin sighed again. “We should finish packing up.”

I took the hint and didn’t mention it again.

Packing up done, Josh and I said goodbye to the young people and Alex, and started to walk back toward my parents’ house as the sun set. Josh lived in Camden, but he insisted on walking me home safely, before heading back down to Hampstead Station to catch the train back to his apartment.

I sighed happily. “That was so nice. I wish I’d had Pride House when I was a teenager.”

“Tell me about it. Although my parents would never have let me go to something like that, even if it had existed back then.” Josh blinked. While it was years since he’d spoken to his family, he was still hurting.

“That reminds me, one of the teens asked me for advice about whether she should come out to her parents, and I didn’t really know what to say. She’s worried they’ll react badly. I almost told her your story but thought better of it, in case it scared her off. I didn’t want to influence her one way or the other. I hope I did the right thing.” I bit my lip.

Josh waited until we’d crossed the road before responding. “That’s tricky, but it sounds like you handled it pretty well. I’m still glad I came out to my parents, even though it went worse than I could’ve imagined. And she might be pleasantly surprised. I mean, you were surprised how well your grandparents took the news.”

“That’s true. I forgot to tell her about that.” I smiled, remembering just how well my Church of England and Hindu grandparents had reacted when I told them I was bisexual and, a few years later, pregnant—intentionally, by myself, using an anonymous sperm donor. I’d been worried how they’d take the news. While they’d been taken aback, after gathering their thoughts, both sets of grandparents had said that as long as I was happy, that was all they cared about. “But I’m still not telling my relatives back in India about me being bi or Elliot. Sometimes, it’s just not worth it.”

Josh raised his eyebrow at me. “Weren’t you just raving last week about how you couldn’t wait to visit India with Elliot when he’s older? How are you going to explain suddenly appearing with a school-aged child no one’s heard of?”

I grimaced. “Yeah, I’ll have to rethink the whole thing when he’s older, but for now, it’s not worthwhile causing Dada and Dadi heartache. They already had to deal with their relatives being scandalized when Dad married Mum, and the gossip mill in their hometown would go into overdrive if they found out that not only did I date women, but I’d had a child by myself. They’re in their eighties, that’s the last thing they need.”

Dadi and Dada had been supportive of my parents’ marriage, but the family they left behind when they moved to England in their early twenties had not. While attitudes toward marriage and sexuality were slowly changing, there was still a fair way to go—and not just in India. I was pretty sure my white grandparents hadn’t been exactly shouting from the rooftops of their conservative English village that I was bi.

I smiled. “To be honest, I’m convinced they’re going to blow my cover at some point. You know how much they adore Elliot, and I can tell they’re itching to show off photos of him. I have to keep reminding them that Elliot’s cute photos would quickly get buried by questions about who his father was and why I wasn’t married.”

“Well, if you need me to pose as Elliot’s dad, I’m happy to accompany you guys to India one day—all expenses paid by you, of course!” Josh grinned. “Changing the subject, when am I going to meet Muscle Man? Seriously, invite him to karaoke on Saturday. We’ve booked a private room, so he doesn’t need to worry about being recognized or swarmed by fans. Pleeease!” Josh looked at me hopefully.

“The private room won’t protect Chris from you, though!” I said, only half joking.

I considered Josh’s invitation. While my initial reaction was that it was a terrible idea, Chris might appreciate meeting some other people, since he’d said he didn’t know many people here. And I was fairly confident my friends would hit it off with Chris once they got to know him.

“Look, I’ll see how tomorrow goes. And if I do invite him, you have to play it cool, okay? Don’t start fanboying all over him.” I took my phone out to check the time and saw I had a message from an unfamiliar number. It was Chris.

Chris: How do you feel about having a picnic lunch tomorrow instead, maybe around 1? If it doesn’t work, I’m happy to stick with our 4pm walk plan.

I paused, thinking. A picnic could be nice. Elliot could play on the picnic blanket instead of being stuck in the pram the entire time.