Page 172 of The New Place

“Would have gone to your wedding, if you’d done something big,” Dad says. “Still can, if you want to, or you can use it for something else.”

Ned shakes his head. This is why Dad came here? “No, it’s yours. Use it for traveling.”

“We want you to have it.”

“Go to Italy and Australia both. I’m really okay. You didn’t have to come all the way over here.”

“We’ve been saving, and we talked, and we want you two to have it. We have enough for ourselves, but you and Henry are just starting out.”

No, Ned’s starting over. He started out already, after college, getting married to Jen. Now he’s trying to catch up to where he was, which feels a lot like running in place.

Still, he’s an entire adult with a career. He’ll be a professor at Newbury University. He’s not taking money from his parents.

Not that it wouldn’t help.

“Thank you,” Ned says, as sincerely as he can. “But really.”

“It’s for the two of you,” Dad says. “And I came because I wanted to check in with you. Lots of changes happening.”

“Nothing’s wrong. And you’ve been letting me live at home,” Ned says. “That’s more than enough. Besides, you gave me money when Jen and I got married.” It had gone straight to the house they bought, and like with the ring he’d given her, Ned hadn’t seen a dime of it back.

Ned is such a fuckup with money. Why hadn’t he argued harder for more of their assets? Negotiated for less child support, if she was going to keep everything?

Because of Peggy, he knows now like he did then. Because he’d wanted her to have a beautiful home to grow up in, even if he wasn’t living in it with her, and two parents who could be in the same room, even if they weren’t married.

And he was supposed to be fine. Is fine. Figured he’d earn back the losses, and he will. Eventually.

It seems dumb now, like he’d just rolled over and let Jen take what she wanted. But would he do it differently, if he could do it over again? He and Jen get along well enough and would that be true if he’d haggled over finances? Would Peggy have gotten to stay at that house, near his parents and her school, or would she have had to move across the city?

He rubs his chest. It was worth it, wasn’t it? “Is it a pain having me live at home?” he asks before he knows he will. Is that what this cash is? A gentle but firm nudge out the door?

“What? No, of course not,” Dad says. “Why would you ask that?”

“I thought I’d have moved out by now.” That was the plan he’d made last year. Stay with his parents for a bit while he looked for a place, then get an apartment. But here he is, still sleeping in his childhood bedroom, nearly as broke, unable to move in with his boyfriend.

No. Husband. Dammit.

“You and Henry will get a place soon enough, whether it’s that house or another one,” Dad says. “If he needs to stay with us too while you look, he’s of course welcome to.”

Ned lets out a laugh. Abbot, needing to move in with family? He can rent anything he wants to. Hell, he can buy a place and sell it and buy a different one, from the sound of it. It’s Ned who’s the problem.

“I might need to stay longer,” Ned says. “I know I said I’d move out already, and I meant to, but I don’t think I can.”

“Whatever you need,” Dad says, but he’s not hearing what Ned is saying.

Though Ned isn’t actually saying anything. He’s skirting the issue and hoping Dad will guess what he means, rather than Ned having to put into words the embarrassment warming his face.

“If it’s more than this spring and summer, but into next year,” he makes himself get out. “Or longer than that, really. I know you want the house empty, but is there a chance I could stay?”

“Wait, wait,” Dad says. “Aren’t you and Henry getting a spot together?”

No, Ned needs to tell him, but how to explain that he’s not yet ready to live with the husband he didn’t really intend to marry?

“You’re not?” Dad asks into Ned’s silence. “Mom and I are fun, I know. But you can’t want to stay with us if he’ll be down here.”

“I think it’s a better decision for me.” Ned hates hearing that truth. Hates how small his voice sounds, too. “Um, rather than trying to move anytime soon.”

Dad leans forward to catch his eye, but Ned keeps staring at the desk. “Is something going on between you two?”