Page 167 of The New Place

“Yes,” Abbot says, and then corrects himself. “No. He’s decided. So I was looking at the house, rather, and Ned came and…” And Abbot rather liked it, and Liesl had left with a hard glint in her eyes and her jaw set, barely deigning to hug him goodbye, and Abbot didn’t text Ned that he’d arrived safely back in Portland, and Ned hasn’t texted to ask. “It didn’t go well,” he finally finishes.

“Can we blame Steve?”

“Likely not.”

“It would have gone well if it’d been my place,” Pat sniffs. “Ergo: It’s Steve. Because let’s be clear that I remain Ned’s most important person in this world. Except for Peggy and you, of course.”

It’s just a joke, Pat trying to defuse the moment, but it catches Abbot right in the chest. Ned lived with Pat. Will he again, if Pat decides to move down to Boston to be closer to Claire and their baby? Would Ned happily share a place with him again, when he won’t with Abbot?

Yes, Abbot is suddenly sure, and it’ll be like stepping back in time to visit Ned and Pat together.

“Did you like it?” Claire asks.

“I should look at more properties regardless,” Abbot says. “I’ve only seen the two.”

“But do you?”

“It needs some work.”

“Good location, though,” Claire says.

Abbot tries not to picture the walk from that house to Ned’s parents’. Peggy would be able to ride her bike on her own soon enough, if Cheryl and Dan knew to expect her. She could nearly walk from Jen’s too. And he and Ned would have such a short commute to Newbury, with the neighborhood positioned how it is, the bridge across the river so close.

A house. For him and Ned and Peggy and Liesl. A backyard for Baxter, a couch big enough for them all, a bedroom with a bed that is both his and Ned’s, their closets full of their clothes, a place they can come home to every night together.

No. That’s not what he’s getting, and it’s time he accepts that.

He could find something closer to Newbury, even closer than that house is. Near enough to walk to work, and on nights Ned doesn’t have Peggy, they can leave the office together and enjoy the short trip back. Even stop in over lunch to let Baxter out, if Ned wants to leave him there for the day.

So just live with me, Abbot wants to plead with him all over again.

“Abbot?” Pat asks.

“Yes, I like it,” Abbot says. “But Ned’s not interested in living together.” Or visiting him this summer, either.

But that’s far too embarrassing to say to these two.

“Ned’s ready to get married but not move in?” Claire asks.

“I have a story for you about the order in which these two do things,” Pat says.

“Everything just moved very quickly,” Abbot says. “Ned needs some time.”

“How much time?” Pat asks.

Abbot lets out a breath. “I don’t know.”

“So he’s just not going to live with you?” Claire asks.

“Exactly,” Abbot says and the word feels heavy and numb. They’re married. They’ll be living in the same city so very soon. Working together too. They’ve declared to their friends and families that they intend to be together for the rest of their lives, to love and to care for each other.

Just…separately, is Ned’s preference.

“Something changed over the past few weeks,” Abbot says.

“Like getting married?” Pat asks.

“No. Yes, of course, but…” Abbot shakes his head. “We were so happy, and now we aren’t, and I don’t know how to get back there.”