Page 138 of The New Place

“Do you even remember what that means?”

“Sort of.” Ned has to smile. “Remember that first night you came up here?” Not later, when he and Pat had introduced Abbot to Sundays spent watching football, and Ned had rediscovered the simple pleasure of sitting on the couch doing nothing in particular with someone he loved. He’d leaned against Abbot then, like he’s doing now, reveling in having someone to simply be near, a different sort of intimacy than the press of bodies and bare skin.

“The first night I came here? Yes, I remember. You were trying to get me to drink beer.”

“I was trying to get you into bed. I just had no idea how to go about it.” Ned has to smile at the memory. “I was so far gone on you.”

“I was surprised when you invited me up.”

“Oh, I was too. Just feeling through the dark the entire time, trust me.” He absolutely had been, unable to even admit to himself how badly he’d wanted Abbot. Drunk with it, he can’t help but think now, remembering his bumbling attempts to simply manage a conversation.

“I still can’t believe I willingly drank beer,” Abbot says. “If that will tell you how, as you said, far gone I was too.”

Ned laughs. “Yeah, I see that now. We were trying so damn hard.”

Abbot squeezes his hand. “We did alright, in the end.”

“We did.” Ned puts his head on Abbot’s shoulder. “I’m sorry we’re in this mess. This whole me-needing-a-job that led us here.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not. It will be, I’m sure, but this isn’t exactly how I thought things would go either.”

Abbot’s silent for a long moment. Ned rubs his thumb over Abbot’s and concentrates on the warmth of his shoulder beneath his cheek, the scent of his shirt.

“What did you think would happen?” Abbot asks softly.

“I don’t know,” Ned says. “I didn’t think it involved leaving our families unattended downstairs. I fear for what my dad’s doing to your poor father.”

“Avocados?”

“Oh, please no.”

“He’ll survive.”

“Hopefully,” Ned says.

Abbot shifts and puts his arm around Ned. “We will too.”

Ned snuggles close, breathing him in. “I love the hell out of you, you know.”

“I do.”

“Yeah?”

“And conveniently, I happen to feel the same way.”

“Convenient.” Ned lets Abbot hold him, his hand tracing idle patterns on Abbot’s thigh.

He’s terrified, to be getting married again. Calmer too, than he ever thought he might be.

They sit for a long time, listening to the silence. Ned moves only when the stairs creak with a rapid patter of footsteps. He’s not surprised when it’s Peggy shoving the door open, Liesl a step behind her.

“We’re ready,” Liesl says, breathless.

“You can come down,” Peggy says. “Baxter won’t wear his bowtie.”

“We put it on twice, but he doesn’t like it,” Liesl says.