Page 124 of The New Place

Ned sits back in his chair. The house is so quiet.

A car drives by outside. The coffee pot beeps to announce it’s shutting off.

Ned would like to shut off too. Let the world know he’s done what he can this morning and he’s out of commission for the rest of the day. Last night was a doozy, and now this morning is too. Thank you, but the remainder of Friday is cancelled. Please don’t try to get in touch.

“I understand you don’t even feel ready to be engaged,” Abbot says.

His tone of resignation floods Ned. Abbot doesn’t think Ned would want him. Because Abbot was scared to see his mom? Because he was a little kid, then a terrified college student?

He’s the best person Ned knows. Of course he wants him, now and tomorrow and forever.

But—marriage?

No. They can’t. Ned can’t in good conscience let this happen. He’s debt-ridden and trying to stay atop a pile of bills. Marriage is all sorts of legal layers of shit. Ned should know. It was expensive as hell to unwrap them when he and Jen fell apart.

“I understand,” Abbot says.

Oh fuck no. “We could drive up to Portland.” Ned’s voice sounds too loud. “Today.”

He’s not suggesting this. Except he is, apparently. He needs Newbury. Hell, he needs Abbot to be alright, and that’s more important than anything. “If you want to?”

What kind of question is this? But he’s going for it now. Going for Abbot. This perfect, precious man. “I could pick up Peggy from school, and I mean, Liesl’s already in town, right? Though I’d have to bring my parents too. They wouldn’t want to miss it.”

“Are you serious?”

“I think I am.” The answer surprises him. Marry Abbot, who wouldn’t talk to him because of what Ned might think, who was so very scared of Ned’s reaction.

Though what the hell is Ned going to do? Marry this man and then what? Not file the certificate, maybe. Talk Abbot into an annulment.

Yeah. Great. And have two failed marriages.

Oh, this is a fucking mess.

But Abbot needs him now, and paperwork can wait. It’s a couple of signatures for the state and for the university. That’s nothing to who he and Abbot are together. Not even close.

“I’m going to marry the hell out of you,” Ned says.

“Ned.”

“I am. I’m going to tell my dad to leave work, and I’ll go get Peggy from school, and I’m calling Beverly back, too.”

“What? No.”

“You’re in charge of Liesl.” Ned is gaining momentum now, the conversation tipping forward. “I’ll take care of Beverly.”

“Ned, last night—are you okay with this?”

“If it’s a promise between us that we’re good together, then yes,” Ned says. “Are you?”

“Yes, Ned, of course I want this. Want you.”

“Good.” Ned nods and it feels right, so he does it again. “Me too.”

The financial side of it⁠—

No, he’ll figure it out. They’ll keep their finances separate like they do now. A marriage certificate doesn’t have to change that.

He’s riding high on hope, he knows. On the delight that Abbot finally opened up, however reluctantly.