Page 37 of Buy Back My Love

My man got me the hell out the city for my first weekend as a free woman. Soon as JB told me to pack a bag, I ain’t ask too many questions. I ain’t give a damn where we were going. I had spent enough time staring at the same walls that he could’ve told me we were headed to fucking Mississippi and I probably would’ve been excited. Turns out, he had something a whole lot better planned. Santa Rosa Beach. JB rented us this big-ass Airbnb in the 30A area that was way too much house for just the two of us.

It had a pool, a huge kitchen, more bedrooms than we knew what to do with, and damn near everything else you could think of. I ain’t know if he was trying to spoil me, make up for leaving me that first night, or a little bit of both. Either way, I wasn’t complaining.

Friday, we ain’t do shit but fuck, eat, and get in that pool. I barely put clothes on the whole damn day. The only time we really came up for air was when we got dressed and went to Fish Out of Water for dinner. Somewhere between eating seafood and drinking something that probably cost more than it needed to, I asked JB if Anika and Trevon could come down and spend the rest of the weekend with us.

“Go ahead and call ’em,” he told me like it wasn’t nothing.

By Saturday, they were there. The rest of the weekend was tequila, card games, talking shit, burning stuff on the grill, and arguing over what movie we were gonna watch. Nothing fancy. We were just having fun, and for once I wasn’t sitting around thinking about everything I had missed.

Then Sunday came, and the second we got back to Mobile, all that vacation shit was over. JB barely got in the house good before dispatch called, and just like that, he was gone again. I hadn’t seen him since.

He called me every morning and every night, but that shit wasn’t the same as having him there. By Tuesday, I was ready for him to get his ass back home. We still needed to finish furniture shopping, and after spending a few days in that Airbnb, coming back to my empty-ass living room made it look even worse.

I was sitting on the couch with my phone in my hand, about to call JB and get on his nerves until he came home, when somebody knocked on the front door.

I figured it was probably Nina stopping by, maybe Wren, or even Anika coming back over. I wasn’t expecting anybody important, so when I opened the door and saw my mama standing on the porch, I just stood there for a second.

“Mama?”

She sucked her teeth like I was the one who had some nerve. “It’s been damn near a week and you ain’t came to see me or called me, so I figured I’d come over here and make sure you was alive.”

I crossed my arms. “Mama, I just got out last week. Why you wasn’t at my welcome home party?”

“Oh, girl, please.” She waved me off and started walking toward the door. “Anika didn’t tell me until the last minute, and you know JB’s ass ain’t tell me nothing. I don’t come where I ain’t invited.”

I wanted to ask why the hell she was standing on my porch now then, but I kept that to myself.

Mama looked past me into the house. “Can I come in, or did JB tell you I ain’t allowed over here?”

“See, you already starting.” I stepped out the way. “Come on.”

She walked inside and immediately started looking around. Her eyes went from the living room to the dining area before she frowned.

“Why it’s so empty in here? You did five years for that nigga and he couldn’t furnish your shit?”

“Mama, don’t come in here being messy.” I closed the door behind her. “He gave me the money to do it myself. You know how I am about decorating.”

“How much he give you?”

I looked at her. “Enough, Miss Nosey.”

She kept walking, looking around like she was inspecting the place. “Well, you need to spend it. This house too nice to be sitting empty like this.”

I stood there watching her for a second. She had been in my house less than five minutes and was already talking about JB, my furniture, and how I needed to spend my money like everything between us was normal, but it wasn’t.

“Why you never wrote me?”

Mama stopped and turned around. “I did write you.”

“Barely.”

Her face changed. “Well, Lee, it’s your fault you was in there anyway. I been telling you since you was fourteen to leave Jabari’s ass alone.” That hit exactly where she knew it would.

“At least he loves me.”

Mama’s eyes narrowed. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“You kicked me out my senior year in high school!” I yelled. I hadn’t planned on saying it, but once it came out, all that old hurt came right along with it.