Page 33 of Love You Like This

This is why I usually make sure to avoid sitting next to him. Not that he makes it easy. It’s especially annoying on the tour bus when I’m working at the table and he plops down beside me on the bench. He’s so fucking tall I end up scrunched against the window just to have space.

Dinner is brought out, and our conversation flows to the possible film Stephen might pick up production on. He mentions wanting to look into a book-to-film adaptation, and I immediately know what he should look into. I launch into a spiel about Hazel’s book and how fucking good it is. That Stone read it in one sitting. By the time I’m done, he’s already ordered it online and plans to start reading it over the weekend.

As the sun begins its final descent over the water, Stephen asks for the check and pays. We say our goodbyes, and I soak in the comfort of my only fatherly figure squeezing me tight. He and Xander then share a hug, and we part ways.

“Do you want to go watch the sunset over on the beach before I take you home?” he asks as he opens the car door for me.

Maybe it’s the nostalgia of the night because I find myself saying yes. He finds some street parking, and we walk down to the beach. There aren’t many people out tonight, probably because of the chill in the air. Xander pulls his hoodie over his head and tosses it in my direction without me even saying anything about being chilly.

I take it begrudgingly because I’m not too proud to walk around cold when I could be cozy. My dress flutters around my thighs as we walk along the sand with the cliffs to one side and the Pacific crashing ashore on the other. A comfortable silence settles around us as we take in the beauty of the pinks and oranges painting the sky.

“I love it here,” he says, dropping down onto the sand.

I join him, loving how the sand still holds warmth from the day beneath me. “It is gorgeous.”

A towering rock formation stands sentinel to our left, the water slamming into it with each wave that comes ashore. I dig my fingers into the sand behind me and let my head fall back as my eyes close. The weight of his gaze on the side of my face is too hard to ignore, so I look over at him.

“What?” I ask.

“I miss you.” The sincerity in his amber-flecked eyes hits me like a knife to the chest, just like the last time he said those words to me.

“We’ve spent the last couple months locked on a tour bus together.”

“Exactly.”

“We’ve been home for two days.” I sit forward and dust the sand off my hands.

“That’s not what I mean.”

Panic surges in my chest. My mind is screaming for me to run fast and far from where he wants to take this conversation. But my stupid heart, the one that he broke but has never stopped loving him, says stay. Hear him out.

“Do you have the time?” I left my phone in the car. “I forgot I told Mom I’d call her tonight.”

“It’s the middle of the night in London.”

Fuck.

“Jade,” his tone implores me to look his way. “Look at me. Please.”

Despite knowing I shouldn’t, I do. I cave to him like I always do. “I know I fucked up by leaving you once. I was young and stupid. I didn’t think about how it would hurt you, but I’ve never stopped loving you.”

He reaches over slowly, watching for me to flinch or pull away as he cups my cheek. I close my eyes at the warmth of his palm over my cool skin. Maybe just a few seconds of letting him touch me would be okay. I’m not giving into him.

I’m not.

But as he leans closer my eyes flit to his lips and I wet my own. I haven’t kissed him in so long. Just as I start to lean forward, I catch sight of a couple walking hand in hand down the beach toward us. Her belly is swollen with a baby, and it’s exactly the cold douse of water I need to pull away from him.

Pain flickers in his eyes as I pull away, but he doesn’t push.

“We should go. I need to edit some photos I’ve taken of you guys from the tour, so they’ll be ready to post.”

“Okay,” he says, voice resigned.

He pushes to his feet and then offers me a hand up. I take it and then brush sand off my legs and dress. “Thank you.”

We walk back to the car in silence. He opens the door for me, as he always has. Noah Kahan comes on the radio as he drives me home. Perfectly setting the slightly depressing turn of the night.

Xander shuts off the car when he pulls into my driveway and opens his door.