Page 164 of Made Better Together

“You care, yet you eat up her time during a period so challenging, she dropped her med school apps?”

Right again.

“Now my daughter is amazing. Incredible. I don’t think this situation has hurt her in any direct way.”

“No, I—I would never want to hurt her.”

He sits back. Maybe his venting, or my agreeability, calmed him down?

“I believe you.” Nope, despite those three words, he still sounds angry. “If you had hurt her, I don’t think I could stand the sight of you.”

“I…I understand.”

“Eden can make her own choices. Her own decisions. I trust her.”

Okay?

“But based on the position you put her in, I’m asking you to think hard. Are you really what she needs right now?”

I bring my hands to the side of my face and weigh all his points. Everything on her plate. The shit that got stirred up because I suggested we date in secret.

The honest answer is I’m not sure. Shit.

My chest clenches at the thought of losing her. After all we’ve gone through. Given how we seem to be exactly what the other needs. She’s what I need.

Am I being selfish? Am I fucking up her life?

No, no, no, I don’t want to be that person. I’ve screwed up enough with all this lying.

Del sighs. “I understand that you two like each other. I was… am angry at how you handled the situation, however.” His voice is still tight, but steady. “This was not the way to do it.”

I take the opening to be agreeable. “It’s okay—I know it’s because you’re worried about her.”

“I am. Even though she’s an adult. You never stop worrying.”

“I…it’s understandable.”

“I hate this lying shit, Connor. From both of you.”

I don’t have a good response to that, and we both fall quiet. My hands drop to my lap, and my palms leave a moist residue on my legs.

“I should’ve had this conversation outside of the office. Just to confirm, this has nothing to do with your position here.”

“Oh, I—okay, Coach.”

I guess that’s good to hear, but I’m stuck on his question. Am I adding to Eden’s life? Making it better? Or making her life worse? Making it harder, more complicated?

“You can go. I’ll see you at practice tomorrow.”

I nod and walk out, occupied with my thoughts. What am I going to say to Eden now? Because it physically hurts to think about breaking up with her, but shit, what is the right thing to do?

47

EDEN

Itry to ignore my anxiety while Connor runs around having these conversations. I’ve got no choice—because on my agenda this morning is one of my last classes of the term, an interview with Soccer News that Grace arranged, and a trillion emails.

Unfortunately, today’s Advanced Sociology class is particularly dull. I mainline iced coffee to keep my mind engaged for most of the ninety minutes.