Page 70 of What Remains

“You sure you’re ready to jump back into things?” Wyatt’s wasting his breath. Like me, he knows how stubborn she is. There’s not a chance in hell she’ll sit back and do nothing.

“The only way I can start over is by putting the past behind me, right?” Her blue-grays shift to me, narrowing. “Pretty sure that’s something we all need to do.”

CHAPTER 23

Gwen

The cursor blinks at me impatiently. Like even my computer is judging me for not having my life together.

Jerry is now locked and loaded with all my old programs and tools . . . but none of my memories. Those stayed backed up and untouched. I couldn’t bring myself to restore them yet. Not the photos. Nor the “dear diary” notes I left myself. Anything personal that woman has her hands on feels contaminated.

So here I am, trying to start from scratch. Build new memories on this stranger of a machine. I’ve got a blank document open in a new font, pretending a fresh typeface will magically make me functional.

But all I can do is stare at the screen like the words might offer themselves up.

My jaw aches from clenching, and I flex my fingers, trying to wring out the tension.

Dear older me, this is your younger self.

“Nope.”

Backspace. That’s not right. Neither are the next four versions I try, each one worse than the last.

Dear Easton,

My stomach does a little somersault at the sight of those two words.

Before I can delete them, my mobile pings with a notification. I haven’t had a chance to sync all my old contacts, but I recognize the number, so I go ahead and program it in before I read the message.

Liam: Your dad told me you got a new phone & number. Just wanted to let you know Elaina is fine. I know you’re going to worry about her, but everything WILL be okay. We’ll figure out what’s going on and put an end to this WITHOUT her or Camila giving up their medicine to try and help.

I actually appreciate his caps. They’re needed. He really is a great dad, too.

I agree on the last part, and I know you, Emily, and your teammates will protect her. I’m just so sorry she’s being dragged into this because of me. Well, because someone wanted something I have.

Had, I suppose. I don’t have my rig anymore. That damn woman does.

Try and distract her from texting/calling me too much, though. I don’t like lying to her. It hurts.

Liam: I get it, and we will. We’re all just so damn glad to hear you’re okay and safe. Thank God Easton was there. And it’s good to know he’s moving back into the hotel where he belongs.

Why do I feel like he wanted to write “with you” after “belongs” but left off that part?

Maybe I just want to hear it.

Thank you.

I sigh and set my mobile aside before staring at the Dear Easton on my screen.

Confused, I shut the lid, slap both palms on the desk, and slowly lower my forehead to the matte-black top.

Maybe I can Jedi what’s in my head straight into the machine and one of my programs can unscramble and make sense of my thoughts? Because I currently feel like I’m operating on software without an encryption key.

“You okay?” Natasha creeps up on me to ask.

“No,” I mutter, turning my cheek to locate her.

She’s by the wall of windows glowing with mountain light.