Page 61 of Never the Same

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what just happened,” I gritted out, knotting my hands at my sides so I wouldn’t haul her against me. Swoop her into my arms and cart her off to my bed, where she’d dreamed we’d already made love as husband and wife. We could go ahead and turn fiction into reality.

She blinked her way up from my dick still filling out the crotch of my shorts to my face. “I’m sorry, too.”

“You don’t owe me an apology. What I did was out of line.” I hung my head, drawing my fingers to my temples. “I have no idea why I did that.”

“Well, I wanted you to touch me. It’s all I seem to want, even if it doesn’t make sense.”

The vein throbbed at the side of my neck as I worked to rein in my desire, her words not helping at all. I remained stiff and ready to go. It was more than that, though. She was slowly resuscitating me in other ways. Like pumping blood to my heart.

“You don’t remember who you are,” I shot back, trying to put up a guard and dismiss her feelings right along with mine.

She let the words simmer between us for a few seconds. “Maybe I’m confusing you because I told you about my dream, and that’s why you touched me.” She bypassed my last remark and addressed my other comment.

She was also being too good to me. She had no idea who I really was. Who I used to be, at least. I’d been a prick to her since we met in February. I was well aware this very thing might happen if I wasn’t, and that’d been a fear of mine since day one, after meeting her in person.

“You, um, may hate me . . . but your body doesn’t seem to.”

I followed her gaze to my raging hard-on. “You’re gorgeous, Hollis. That won’t ever change.” I let go of a gruff breath. “I’m a dude with eyes, so.” I did my best to act like whatever happened was purely physical, when I damn well knew better. “Just stop being so gorgeous whenever you’re close to me, will ya?” I stepped around her to assess the mess she’d made on my counter. “Otherwise, I just might have to gouge out my eyes,” I added in a lighter tone, hoping to switch gears here from lust to how we rolled before: banter and mild insults.

“That’s a little extreme.” She chuckled, and it was the best sound in the world, and I hated how much I craved hearing it again. “I could just not wear shorts that make my ass look so good and always keep a top on.” She playfully elbowed my side as I tried to salvage the sandwiches and turn them into something edible.

“No, you wear whatever you want.” I glanced at her. “It’s a man’s responsibility to control himself.” And if I had to seal my eyes shut and maintain six feet of distance from her at all times, then so be it. Whatever kept me sane and her out of my bed, I’d do it. I had no choice but to, because she wasn’t my “the one” as much as I wasn’t hers.

She gave a half-hearted shrug, then began swiping the crumbs into her palm.

“Let’s just eat, okay?” I plated the sandwiches and went to the breakfast bar.

Ranger was asleep in his bed in my room, which explained why he wasn’t trying to steal our food now and why he hadn’t barked up a storm over me touching her.

She sat on one of the three backless barstools, and I scooted mine farther away from hers. The memory of her ass tight against me with my fingers curled around her throat was still too fresh in my head.

“Am I crazy for being turned on and thinking about sex when I don’t even know who I am? Don’t even remember what sex feels like or how I even like it?”

I honest to God choked on my food. She hopped off the stool and wasted no time wrapping an arm around me.

“I’m guh-good,” I said, finally swallowing my food before she cracked a rib.

She poured me a glass of water and handed it to me like a peace offering.

“Just went down the wrong pipe.” I was making a real liar out of myself today, because nah, she’d nearly choked me to death with her words. “And I thought we were done talking about—”

“You’re right.” She waited for me to drink up before sitting. “I feel like I’m constantly apologizing for making things awkward, only to do it again five seconds later.” She picked up her sandwich, which was falling apart at the side. “I think I have a problem.”

Don’t we all? “Don’t be so hard on yourself.” I also had to keep reminding myself of that. “I can’t imagine what it’s like not remembering . . .” I let my words trail off because thoughts of my father popped into my head.

“Can I ask you something?” She set down her sandwich and swiveled on the stool to face me.

I finished my water, hoping it’d put out the fire inside me as I waited for her question to come, one that’d surely make me uncomfortable again. She’d been on a roll the last few days. “You will anyway even if I say no. So go ahead.”

“I don’t want to be—”

“You are. Always were.” I crooked my lips into a partial smile, side-eyeing her. “I reckon come hell or high water, you always will be a pain.”

“Not Southern, but every so often, I hear a little twang of something there.”

Did I really just . . . ? Shit, I did. What was she doing to me? How could I make it stop? “Oklahoma. There. You satisfied? That’s where I grew up. Haven’t been back since I was eighteen.” Nothing to go back to.

“I wonder if I’ve ever been in a tornado. That state is known for them, yes?” She hooked her ankles around the stool legs and set her hands on her thighs.