Page 50 of Never the Same

Me: So, someone went through my stuff at the hotel and my two places over there. What were they searching for, and why not just ask me if they had me? Something doesn’t add up, right?

Lyra: That’s what I heard Dad say to Gideon. Unless they wiped your memories first before asking, assuming you wouldn’t talk, even if interrogated.

Lyra: Right, Julian/Gideon?

Me: He’s probably asleep, like you should be.

Lyra: None of us can sleep, you kidding?

Lyra: I wish you didn’t leave, but I kind of get why you did. You wanted to be near your best friend (I’m a little jealous of her btw) and you’ve really grown close to those Delta operators this year, so . . . Nope, not toooo shocked you chose them over your family even though everyone’s a stranger.

Me: I’m sorry.

That was the best I could do. I didn’t know how to explain why I knew I was safe with Reed. Though, after his little speech to me in the kitchen, maybe I needed to rethink this living situation. It was possible he did hate me and I’d been misreading things, since I wasn’t exactly in my right mind.

Lyra: It’s okay you’re closer to someone else. I’m still number 2 & Julian would give anything for that precious spot, wouldn’t ya, J? He thinks because you’re twins he should be your #1, but the man can’t get his head out from behind his screen, so it’s his fault.

Me: You’re making me feel a little better, btw. Thank you.

Lyra: I’m here for you, always. Just worried about you.

Me: Something tells me we’re not a family of worriers. Apparently, Julian smiles/laughs when nervous. Gideon, well . . . broods harder?

Me: What am I like?

Lyra: You pretend that everything is fine. No nervous laughter though. Fake it until you make it kind of thing.

Lyra: Sometimes you can’t hide your feelings. It’s rare, but it happens. Gotta be pretty bad for you to show any signs of . . .

Me: Weakness? That’s what our lovely mother would call it, right?

Lyra: More like show signs you’re actually human. Mortal. Sometimes I wonder

Me: What about you? How do you handle things?

Lyra: Pretending everything is good, just like you do. Also, insomnia, which is why I’m up now. You went missing for a day, and I can’t stop thinking about what happened to you while you were gone. Makes me sick to my stomach. So glad you’re back, of course. But . . .

When she put it that way. Missing for a day. Why’d those words hit me like I was being stoned to death by them? Fear trickled in slowly before whipping me hard and fast, propelling me to the floor to stand.

No, no, no. Chills beat down my bare skin, and my teeth clicked together. I cupped my mouth as liquid gathered in my eyes while Ranger jumped from the bed to stand next to me, offering his paw and support.

It was Reed I needed, even if he could hardly stand me. He could calm me down, I knew it. Anything to stop the what-if scenarios playing in my head as I imagined what may have happened to me during those missing hours.

Me: You should try and sleep. I will too.

My teeth chattered and my hand trembled as I texted her.

Lyra: Love you.

Me:

That was the best I could do for now. I tossed the phone on the bed and rushed to the door. I flung it open, only to stumble in surprise that Reed was there, hands braced on the doorframe.

“You’re here,” I sputtered, catching a tear with my tongue before launching myself into his arms.

He went stiff at the contact as I crushed myself against his hard frame, my cheek pressing tight to his chest, truly breaking down for the first time since I’d woken up in that coffin.

A few seconds later, he wrapped me in his arms, a hand to my bare back, another cradling my head.