Page 42 of Never the Same

My sentiments exactly. And now that I’d met Hollis’s mother and siblings, I was pretty sure I understood why she enjoyed pretending to be normal and hanging out with Audrey so much. It was an escape from not only the pressure of her family but also probably from having to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. I knew that feeling all too well.

“Anything else from Chandler?” Alex asked.

I reread the text. “Same orders as we had in the UK. Find who took her, and if her memories don’t return naturally, then figure out a way to get them back.”

“So, you all have to be scientists along with being operators to help me?” There was a touch of both guilt and frustration there.

“We’ll be whoever you need us to be,” I promised without hesitation, but my tone was huskier than it needed to be for a man speaking to an off-limits woman I supposedly couldn’t stand.

Alex shot me the look of the century, too. He’d heard what I said and how I’d spoken, and now I couldn’t shake our conversation from the office in Surrey. I had lost it when she was taken, then lost it a second time when learning her memories were gone.

Prayers and duct tape may have held me together before, but I’d need an intervention by God to get me through the rest of this mission with Hollis living at my house.

Ryder broke the silence while adjusting his rearview mirror toward Hollis. “Tonight, let’s just get some shut-eye so we’re fresh to go over everything tomorrow.”

She slid farther back in her seat, and I turned myself around again, just in time to see Audrey, Chase, and Ranger waiting for us outside my house.

“We’ll swing by your place tomorrow and get started on the case,” Ryder added while parking in my driveway.

“I take it I’m rarely at the center of a case, more like the one helping solve them.” Her voice was softer that time. I hated this for her. Hated it so damn much I couldn’t put it into words.

“You’ll be okay and back to kicking ass in no time.” Trevor joined the conversation for the first time from the third row, which had to be a tight fit for him back there.

The back doors opened, and I was surprised Hollis didn’t take a minute to steel herself before facing off with people she was supposed to remember but couldn’t.

“Hold up,” Ryder said as I unbuckled and returned my phone to my pocket.

He waited for the others to clear out, and I could feel a lecture coming. Already got one from Alex yesterday, I sure as hell didn’t need another from my team leader.

I kept my eyes on the window, watching Audrey clinging to Hollis, and Hollis shocked me by returning her hug.

“You really okay with this?” Ryder finally asked after letting me stew a little too long.

“Of course I’m not. You know how I feel about her.” Well, how I wanted everyone, including myself, to think I felt about her, at least.

“You’re not a people person, man.” He followed up with a quick, “Sorry,” to what I didn’t take as an insult; he was only telling the truth. “But she’s going to need you to be one, so are you—”

“I’m not sure of anything.” I left behind the calm mental state I’d somehow been in when facing off with Gideon a few time zones ago.

Ryder removed his ball cap and tossed it on the dash. “Is there something you’re not telling me? You’ve seemed off these past few days.”

“Nope,” I said through clenched teeth, going for the door handle. “I’ll do what I have to do for the sake of the mission. Survive living with her for a few days, or however long I have to.” I forced a tight-mouthed smile. “Have I ever let you down?”

He angled his head, scrutinizing me like I’d gone mad.

I mean . . . maybe I have? Because my house was a short walk away from where we were parked, and I was starting to sweat bullets now that we were actually here. It was a reality, not just some wild idea she’d proposed back in Surrey.

“Your wife is waiting for you. Go to her, will ya?” I gestured with my head in the general direction of somewhere else, hoping he’d change his mind about riding my ass. Because yes, there was a problem. But no, he couldn’t help. “So, if you’ll excuse me, I have a woman to babysit that is more than capable of protecting herself.” I shoved open the door, but he parked his hand on my arm in a request not to get out.

“Your mood went from zero to sixty the second we pulled into the neighborhood, but you’ve been acting cagey since England. So if you plan to continue working this mission, then you better tell me what the hell is going on, and right damn now.”

Great, this really was turning into Alex 2.0 when it came to questioning my ability to operate with a clear mind.

Now I had no choice but to tell him part of why I was so out of my head and hope he’d accept it.

I released the door handle as hot air filled my lungs. A deep breath later, I rushed out, “My father has dementia, and he doesn’t remember who I am.”

My heart was speed-racing as I stared at Hollis petting my dog and smiling as if her world hadn’t turned upside down, and she wasn’t turning mine that way right along with hers.